An Open Letter To My Friends & Family

For those of you who are friends or family this letter is for you,

I wanted to say thank you for trying to understand what I've been going through while in medical school. I know it's kind of complex and I tend to have to explain the journey multiple times but don't apologize for asking me to explain it to you 'one more time'. It's tough to follow! Sometimes I don't even know the answers to your questions and I have to look them up myself.

I know I've been here, but not really here. Home, but not really home. Textbooks and question banks have taken over my life. I used to be so great at responding to text messages and remembering special events but all of those have been slipping my mind. Trust me, when I do remember them I feel HORRIBLE about forgetting about them on their proper day.

Thankfully, every time I do pop up from my little study hole and apologize for taking ages to respond you always understand and tell me not to worry. You don't even realize how much that means to me.

I can't even describe how much I wish I could go to all of the birthday parties, get togethers and events but studying has consumed my life right now.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD FOR ME.

I made the decision to go into medical school and go through the rigorous training to become a Doctor. I knew there would be some social sacrifices that would come along with it. I fully accept that - but because of that little internal "Doctor" instinct of wanting to be there for everyone, I know I have to be selfish.

I guess a part of me wants to apologize for putting you through this too - because we are going on this journey together.

You help keep my sanity. You help when I'm stressed. You help when I've had a horrible study day. You help to lighten my mood when a test is coming up. You remind me that I am supposed to be here. You tell me I will be a great Doctor one day.


Even though you attribute this to "just being a good friend" know to me it means so much more than that. I wouldn't be where I am today without you so any of my wins are just as much yours.

Thank you for joining me on this wild ride. I promise to keep the good stories coming,

Jen

Motivation

Hey friends!

I am back for another post! Quick turn around I know. I've surprised myself too.

I've been asked this question and I've seen this question floating around the internet for the longest time now and I figured - WHY NOT SHARE MY TWO CENTS ON MY BLOG!

The question on everyone's mind every hour of every.single.day. "How do I stay motivated?"

Thinking about it - that's a pretty darn good question that quite honestly I don't think I even have the answer to. Do you want to know why?

I don't rely on motivation.

I can already imagine what is going through your mind right now... what do you mean you don't rely on motivation? Are you crazy? What planet do you live on? How did you make it through two years of med school not relying on motivation?

My answer to you is simple. I rely on dedication.

If we were to only look at the definition of the two words:

"Motivation: Desire or willingness to do something; enthusiasm."

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/motivation

"Dedication: If you say that someone has dedicated themselves to something, you approve of the fact that they have decided to give a lot of time and effort to it because they think that it is important."

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/dedicate

Based on my understanding and interpretation of these definitions, motivation comes and goes while dedication is more permanent. So why would I rely on something that changes based on the day?

Do I wake up every single morning fully motivated to study and learn as much as I can? Honestly no. Some days I wake up and I just soak up all of the information I am reading that day. Other days I wake up and I'm lucky if I make it through one chapter.

On those hard days where my motivation is a big fat zero am I still fully dedicated to become a doctor? Heck yeah I am! That will always be the dream even if I am having a very non-motivational day.

I've found now that I've been attempting to change my mindset from relying on motivation to relying on my dedication I haven't been getting as frustrated with myself on those days my motivation has been a little low.

Show up. Every day. Be dedicated to your goal. Motivation will come and go. Stay true to your course.

- Jen

The Last Hoorah

My internet family!

I just found out today I have passed the island portion of my lifelong journey of medicine. I had to recheck multiple times before I would actually believe it... BUT I DID IT!

I want to start this off by sending a huge congratulations to all of my classmates who went through this amazing journey with me. You all did it and you should be so proud of your accomplishments! I can't wait to rotate in hospitals with you.

I thought since I've been on the island for 16 months I'd give you guys 16 things I've learned while on island:

1. How to live without running (clean) water and other luxuries of home
I remember my first week on island, I was so shell shocked about being here. Dominica was nothing like home. You didn't have a Wal-Mart down the street or grocery stores on every corner. It was a developing country. I didn't know what to expect when I left my sweet comfort zone I called home but when I got to Dominica I realized what I was in for. At first it was weird filling up your water at a filling station but over time you got used to it. You got used to the low water pressure at certain times of the day and just worked your way around it (I am now a morning shower person), or when you turned your tap on that one time late at night and nothing came out. Since then I always have an extra water bottle for brushing my teeth.

2. 8 straight hours of sleep is a luxury
At home I'm used to sleeping in relatively quiet areas, aka the suburbs, so coming to Dominica and hearing bugs all night, and waves, and motorcycles was something to get used to INITIALLY. Then the semester starts... and all of a sudden you notice yourself telling yourself "one more hour... I'll be okay". Then you start calculating how long you'll be asleep if you fall asleep RIGHT NOW.

3. Simple things become difficult
I find this point partially embarrassing but it's true. I have lost the ability to do some simple tasks or utilize the English language. The amount of times I've tried to order something on campus and I stand there pointing to food at a total loss of what this item is actually called. It ALWAYS happens to me with pepper jack cheese. Recently I've been leaving the tap running and walking away...

4. Dominica is NOT the Dominican Republic
I confused this the first few months after I applied

5. There is a reason people in the Caribbean leave the Caribbean in the summer
It gets HOT here in the summer. I mean your skin feels like it's melting off hot. For our summer semester I would leave my house an hour earlier in the morning and an hour later at night to make sure I didn't melt. I would also take multiple showers a day and drink loads of water and STILL managed to get dehydrated.

6. No amount of coffee is enough coffee
If you know me you know this is a life motto of mine. It does get scary though when you drink a lot of coffee/energy drinks/caffeine pills and you still yawn as if you've never slept before. I've been working on keeping my caffeine levels low unless a mini or final is coming up and I 150% recommend doing that.

7. When it rains it pours
I mean that literally. Don't EVER leave your umbrella at home. It could look like a nice innocent sunny day, but I promise you as soon as you leave your house the weather gods sense you left the umbrella at home and they will make it pour... for the rest of the day.

8. Don't forget sunscreen
Again you may think "I'll be outside for less than an hour in the middle of the day I'll be good!" WRONG. If you are fair skinned like me trust me you will burn, and you will peel and it will be the most uncomfortable burn of your life. The sun down here is strong.

9. Nothing is better than a sunrise or sunset
If you've looked at my Instagram you will see MANY sunsets, and if you go through my phone you will find countless more. There's something about watching the sun set and hearing the waves hitting the beach that can make any amount of stress go away (even if it's for just a minute).

10. Island time is a real thing
Your landlord tells you 10:30, or laundry is supposed to arrive at 9... add on about 30 mins (on a good day) and that's the approximate time that your appointment will actually happen. At first this is kind of odd to get used to but by the end of the first or second month it's just the normal.

11. Not doing anything is a very guilty feeling
You will see after about a month into medical school, you're always doing something. Organizing notes, scarfing food down, writing notes, watching lecture, walking somewhere, going to lab, working on clinical skills... it's always go, go, go and all you want to do is to sit and relax. When you do get that day to sit and do nothing you feel guilty and weird... like you should be doing something. Every time I go home my parents always tell me to sit and chill SORRY NOT IN MY VOCABULARY ANYMORE.

12. Missing family events suck
Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Canada Day, Fourth of July... never gets easier. I always get the FaceTime call in followed by the "woah you look tired"... thanks guys... and being shown the yummy food and just being with the extended family.

13. Being homesick happens... often
You're so busy while you're on the island and you have barely any time to think about anything other than school and what you're doing tomorrow for class. But when you do sit down and think (especially if you stayed on island between semesters) you really start to miss your concrete jungles back home. Remember that traffic you used to despise? You kind of miss sitting in it. Those obnoxious honks from cars speeding by? You miss it. Starbucks... you miss it... a lot.

14. Missing food you never missed is normal
When I lived back at home did I ever crave any type of fast food? NEVER! A salad? NO WAY! On island... every day. Being in a smaller town is great because you don't have many distractions but it also means you see the same restaurants every day. When you first come on island that Chinese place down the street may be the best! Two months in you never want to see chicken fried rice ever again.

15. Your family may be far away but your friends will fill that void
This runs closely with lesson 12... even though you miss family events with your family back home you get to spend them with what I like to call them my "Island Tribe". What is also sad about this lesson is that you only get to spend these events with this island tribe on Dominica once. That's right one time. Unless you're lucky and you get your birthday on island two times. As difficult as it is to not be with your family for those special days - your island tribe will always come to save the day when you're feeling some serious home-sickness.

16. Self love is the best love
Medical school is tough stuff. It's no walk in the park and if someone says it is they're a liar. You have to push yourself harder than you've ever pushed yourself in your entire life. Sometimes it pays off. Sometimes it's as if you never studied. It happens to every single one of us. It's hard to realize at times but you didn't get here by chance. You worked your butt off and made sacrifices in your life to get here. It may not seem like its paying off now but in the long run it is. Never EVER give up hope on your dream. If you ever need a little pick me up always feel free to shoot a message my way.

Jen

Hospital Visit Number One!

Hello!

I had a few people ask me about my experience at Princess Margaret Hospital this past week so I figured I'd do a whole post about it!

For those of you who may not know in 4X at Ross we do two hospital visits to the main hospital in Dominica - Princess Margaret Hospital. The hospital is located in the capital of Dominica Roseau - about an hour drive from where the school is.

For this visit I was in the Dialysis and Oncology units in the morning and then I did a mock OSCE in the afternoon.

For those who don't know what OSCE is - it's a clinical exam we take - Step 2 CS. For the real exam, we go through 20 rooms, each with a standardized patient, and we perform an interview and physical exam and then we have 10 minutes to write a SOAP note after each room. The standardized patient grades us along with doctors who watch the video recordings of us in the room. Ours was not as intense (it still was though don't get me wrong - I definitely had my adrenaline pumping) we had 3 rooms instead of 20. But essentially everything else was the same. Even though it was very stressful I'm happy we were given the opportunity to practice our skills and go though a mock Step 2 CS exam.

As for the hospital itself - it looks nothing like a hospital you would imagine back at home. It was essentially blocks with covered walkways connecting different wards together. So we first went to the dialysis unit where patients come on two different regimens for their treatment; Monday, Wednesday, Friday OR Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Since these patients have kidneys that are functioning at very low levels they need to come three times a week so the dialysis machines can filter their blood for them. We had the honour of meeting two patients who allowed us to talk to them and learn more about their back story and how they ended up on dialysis.

We met one pleasant woman who was from the same area as Ross who allowed us to palpate her fistula (the connection of a vein to an artery) and it was different than a normal pulse that's for sure - I'm not even sure how to describe it. I've never been in a dialysis unit or palpated a fistula so this was all very new and interesting to me.

Next we went to the Oncology ward - unfortunately it wasn't a very busy day but we had the amazing opportunity to speak with one of the doctors, Dr. Malakar, who actually helped to find the discipline of Oncology in the medical field. I personally gained a lot more insight into Oncology and how doctors manage patients with a large team.

My next visit is on February 14th (Happy Valentines Day to me) and I will be going into two specialities for the day which I am very excited about. I'm crossing my fingers hoping I'm able to go into the OR or go into the Orthopaedic ward.

Jen

One Year Can Change Everything

Hello my friends!

I'm currently sitting in a classroom learning about hypertension and all different vascular and heart disorders (I'm in my Cardio block) and I took a little study break and I saw that one year ago today I had my white coat ceremony. I can vividly remember the day... we had lectures that morning and then in the afternoon we got to sit through our white coat ceremony. I couldn't focus in class that day - this is a big day for any medical student - finally getting that short white coat with the hopes that one day it will become a long white coat. I remember looking around at all of my classmates and just seeing how happy and determined we all were.

Since then we've gone through three full semesters - now starting our fourth. It's been a long and bumpy road I tell you but all the while so worth it. Throughout this past year, and I can only speak for myself, there have been so many tears, frustrations, doubt, panic phone calls home, naps, patient encounters, skills developed, people met and mental strength that I don't think I can even put it into words. You really don't know what this takes until you fully immerse yourself in it.

Even still I find myself sitting here thinking, "Do I really deserve to be here?" and that thought is always followed by "JENNIFER YOU CAN'T FAKE YOURSELF THROUGH MEDICAL SCHOOL". And I think we all need to really realize that. You didn't just somehow stumble upon this path and somehow made it to this point in your journey by chance. You did it because you put in the hard work and dedication and carved your way here. Yes I said it...

YOU DID IT you smart human you!

So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a little credit, I know we are all our hardest critics, because you should be pretty darn proud of yourself for getting this far in your journey. Whether it be deciding you want to go into medicine, getting accepted into medical school, finishing your first...second...third...fourth...fifth semester, writing step one/comlex, doing rotations, getting that match, getting through residency or getting that ultimate final goal of being an attending. Hold your head high and smile because it takes a lot of hard work and you did it... not by luck or by some chance.

You did it because you worked your butt off and achieved it.

Jen

MERP C - we out!

Positivity Breeds Positivity

Hello my friends!!!

So I've been taking my time to get to writing this haha - sorry!

I wanted to wait to make sure I passed 3X before I wrote anything but I'm officially heading to my final semester of the island in January! It's been one heck of a ride since last year at this time when I was just starting my journey to the island. Thank you to everyone who has been following my stories since then!

I'm currently in Brooks, Alberta (a little town 2 hours south of Calgary) with my family because my brother plays for the Brooks Bandits and they have a game on New Years Eve! I'm super excited about that and shockingly this is the first time I've flown domestically in Canada AND the first time I've gone west of London, Ontario. So far it's been pretty windy and cold (I'm not so good with winter) but it's beautiful here. The town is small but nice and everyone is SO friendly and welcoming. I've layered up my socks and have two on at all times since one was not cutting it. As for the hockey arena here - it is BEAUTIFUL. Looks like a professional rink and by far the nicest I've been in, and I sat in my fair share of arenas growing up.

ANYWAYS back to medicine! The mental break has been so nice and SO NECESSARY. I can't stress taking a mental break enough. You think you can just powerhouse through it and you don't need to take a break but your mind needs it. If your school gives you time in your schedule or between semesters UTILIZE THAT BREAK or you will burn out! Mind you I have started looking at my Cardiology section of First Aid (since yesterday) just to start refreshing my memory before my cardiology block in 4X! Although cardio is a difficult block and very conceptual I am interested in it and I do find it pretty darn cool.

I don't think I've actually fully processed the fact that I am heading into my final semester on the island... after this one island life is done. That's pretty scary to think about. I still feel like a medical baby. I'm also shocked at the amount of information we've packed into our minds in the last year. It's absolutely crazy and I still shock myself when I sit down and explain something to a friend or family.

When I sit back and think about how much things have changed in the past year it scares me but also makes me feel incredibly excited. If you put your mind to something and believe you can do it you will be shocked at how much things can change for you in a year. There's no reason to think you are unable to do something just because someone may have said you are unqualified or "it'll never happen". My own situation is a prime example and I use my brother - who has had MANY trials and tribulations himself - as my inspiration to keep pushing.

I'm cutting this short so I can catch the end of my brothers practice but PLEASE never give up hope or faith. You can and you will do it!

Jen

That arena...

One Month Left

Hey guys!

It's been about a month since you've heard from me (sorry about that) but I've been a busy little medical student over here! We just had a very heavy, and very interesting, Heme and Lymph and MSK block and mini. Now we are in our GI block and then we have Reproductive and then third semester will be over!

I don't know about the rest of my class but I am starting to feel the burn of basically being in school for a year straight (including MERP). I think no matter how much you try to avoid it it will hit you at one point and from then on it's a pure endurance battle. Waking up in the morning is a little harder, easy concepts seem so much more difficult, going home seems painfully far away and stress levels keep rising.

It gets tough and nothing really ever prepares you for it. One of my good friends posted an article saying to go into medicine because you want to go into medicine, not because you have stellar grades or your parents want you to or you want to make money. None of that will get you through medical school. The only thing that will get you through will be your desire to become a doctor. This got me to thinking - what were my thoughts before I got into medical school. How did I interpret becoming a doctor and more importantly medical school?

So I started rummaging through my inbox with the hopes of finding my MD Essay.

Here's a little bit of that essay. I know it's helping me out right now to read it again and to realize all you need to do is fight.

"My road to fourth year has required significant focus and I have been faced with many different challenges along the way. The identity crisis in my very first semester, realizing that what I had envisioned myself studying was not actually what I wanted to do alarmed me tremendously. I found I struggled with identifying who I was. During my whole high school career it seemed obvious that I would study Mechanical Engineering. When I came to the realization that I had no passion for it, it made me extremely nervous and uncomfortable. What would I do without the identity I had developed over the past four years? I had to find something else to be passionate about and that I would enjoy studying that was not Robotics or Mechanical Engineering. With a lot of support from my friends and family I realized that all along I enjoyed the movement of objects, not necessarily robotic objects, but human movement.

After dealing with my identity crisis in first year and transferring into Kinesiology I was finally getting my feet on the ground and I began to feel like myself again. I loved my classes, and found that I was excited to learn again. Unfortunately, I received devastating news of the passing of a very close family member right before my finals in December 2012 - the first half of my second year. Even though I tried to put up a strong front, this death affected me. Not soon after, in September 2013, my grandfather passed away from cancer. I was very close to my grandfather and although he had been battling cancer for a number of years I was still shocked and heartbroken. In that same month my father had heart surgery, which also took a toll on my schooling. And regrettably my father required a second heart surgery in November 2013. I did all that I could to focus on my schoolwork. Ultimately maybe I should have let myself heal from all of those traumatic experiences, but my education is very important to me and I knew if I could get through all this I would emerge a stronger and better person.

Through the tough times I strived to keep a smile on my face and a positive outlook on life. Looking back at my life, I realized that if I didn’t go through the tough times I wouldn’t be who I am today. The tough times made me realize how beautiful life is and how one smile can make a massive impact on someone’s day.

If I could pinpoint a specific time that made my passion for medicine grow it would have to be during the year 2013 when I had multiple stressors in my life. That was when I came to the conclusion that there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to pursue a career in medicine. If I could alleviate someone’s pain, or brighten someone’s day and be lucky enough to call that my job I would never have to work a day in my life."

- Jen

My mom and grandma visited me today :)

I'm Still Kicking!

Hey friends!

I know it's been a while and I'm so sorry for taking FOREVER to write up a new post. Honestly I just haven't really had any inspiration to write. The last thing I want to do is to write up a blog post and have it not be genuine. I started this blog to just help out others the way I was helped throughout this whole medical school journey so the last thing I wanted was to be posting emotions I don't genuinely feel while I'm here. Today I got that inspiration back.

We had our very first community clinic today. For those of you who don't know what it is, we go out in small groups to different villages in Dominica and perform a medical history and physical exam on a REAL PATIENT. This is done all on our own (with our junior faculty watching us to make sure we are performing our skills correctly) but we run the whole interview and physical exam on a patient who is experiencing actual symptoms and are dealing with an actual disease.

A group of colleagues and I went to a village about 30 minutes from our town thinking we were going to see two patients in the clinic but once we arrived we quickly realized the clinic had actually planned two home visits for us. As nervous as I was I was kind of excited to see what a home visit was actually like. So, we had a quick drive over to our patients house and then it was my colleagues and my show. We were greeted by a very friendly gentleman who welcomed us into his home with open arms and was ready for us to learn and to use him as a learning tool. As I sat there and spoke to the patient I realized how lucky I am to have my health and to be aware of any health concerns I could face (i.e. caffeine withdrawal). This gentleman was speaking to my colleague and I about his condition and how at first he had no idea what any of his diagnoses meant. It took him several years before actually realizing that what he is suffering from will not end well if not treated properly. This whole process of interview and physical exam took approximately an hour and I couldn't have been more grateful for the whole experience. The fact that this gentleman is suffering from several diseases and is still so happy, friendly and so willing to help students improve their medical knowledge makes my heart so warm.

This made me think about how fortunate we are back at home to have a significant amount of patient education and support groups to help patients as they go through any diseases they may be suffering from. As well as being so incredibly grateful to be able to go on this amazing, yet sometimes frustrating, journey to become a doctor. When we walk into a room we are the person in charge of this persons health and they look up to us for that. It shouldn't be taken lightly but also not to the other extreme of an overwhelming amount of pressure. I always find myself on the latter, putting too much pressure on myself to know everything and getting frustrated when I don't. A good friend of mine left me with this message and I'm going to leave it here for all of you...

"You diagnose your patient with your mind and not your heart, so study with your mind and not your heart. Your mind will save your patient. Your heart will comfort them."

- Jen

Just Keep Building

Hello Friends!

Quick turn around for another post from me but I’ve got some inspiration for some more writing/procrastinating.

I got some pretty exciting news yesterday and I’ll officially post it on this blog - but I’ve been asked to be the Prime Minister (President) for the Canadian Students Society! Words can’t even describe how excited and happy I am to be able to take a leadership role in this club and work along side some of my amazing friends.

I'd just like to take a moment and reflect as to why I'm so grateful not only for the Canadian Students Society but for being in medical school and living out my dream of becoming a Doctor.

In high school I was a very active student member. Coming from a smaller all girls high school it was very easy to get involved in the school community. I did plays, ran the robotics team, was selected to be a prefect, was on the May Court, helped out with school events... You get the drift.

For various reasons everything changed in my undergrad. I wasn't involved in any clubs let alone never dreamt about taking a leadership role in any aspect of my time there. Just to clarify, it had nothing to do with the school itself. The Applied Health Sciences Faculty was amazing - the smallest faculty on campus - we had a very home like feel to all of our events and throughout all of our buildings.

My confidence was stripped. I isolated myself. I didn't think I could be a part of a team and I didn't want to be. I didn't think I could be a leader, not in a group project let alone in a club.

For various reasons, I wasn’t the same active student body member that I was before. My friends who knew me from high school noticed the shift and honestly there was nothing anyone could really do to bring my confidence back up to where it was before. It was hard, going from being someone who was so actively involved to someone who went to classes and labs and that was it. No extra curriculars, no clubs, no teams - nothing. Until I found a volunteering position working with cancer patients that made me want to get more involved. Mind you at this point joining anything was a big deal for me. And I will be forever thankful to all of my patients at Well Fit, as much as you say I helped you, you helped to shape me into the future doctor I am today.

I was thinking about my 18/19 year old self and how she would react if I told her that she would be in medical school, and she would be loving it. She would gain her confidence to take on leadership roles again and most importantly she would be genuinely happy.

The thought brought me to tears.

I asked a lot of friends whether I should post this more personal blog and I got a resounding yes. Then I realized how happy an 18/19 year old Jen would be if she read something like this when she wasn't feeling her best.

For anyone who may be thinking about applying to medical school but is doubting themselves or doesn’t believe that they can do it - if you want it badly enough you will do it. And you will succeed. Once you start doing what you love the confidence and the happiness just falls into place.

- Jen

Putting Things Back into Perspective

I know I just wrote a post but I had the inspiration to write another when I found out about dear family friends back at home.

I'll try to keep this story as short as possible but here we go...

There was a couple who was happily married and had one boy and the mother was pregnant with their second, a little girl. When the mother went into labor her husband fell seriously ill and passed away leaving a mother of one toddler and one newborn to tackle the world. This lady was an amazing mother, she did everything and more for her children. Unfortunately she had a battle with breast cancer that she beat... the first time around. The relapse was worse and ended up affecting her brain. Through this all she was still doing everything she could with her children, along with the help of her sister. This relapse was too much for this strong, beautiful mother and she passed away leaving her sister and two children.

Through all of this, this family was one of the most positive people I've met. Forever fuelling me and reminding me to keep strong through the tough stuff. And when I thought I couldn't learn anymore from them I found out this lovely, young, happy boy is starting to exhibit symptoms of ALS.

When I got the text from my mom asking if I knew good hospitals for ALS or ALS research my heart sank and everything started falling into perspective.

Here I am complaining how tired I am, how much work I need to do and an exam grade I was not too happy about... and you have this family, who has been through more than I could ever imagine - going through day by day staying stronger than ever.

Although my heart is a little heavier my drive and perseverance has grown stronger.

I ended my last post telling you to remember why you're doing this... well here is part of my reason, and I won't stop until I succeed.

Jen

21 Days to Relocation

Helloooooo friends!

Since I've written Mini 3 I have been going non-stop getting ready for the big move down to Dominica. Not only am I working full time (until the 19th) but I'm packing, organizing my visa application and most importantly trying to see everyone I care about before I leave.

I know that last task is impossible but I'm doing my best.

I honestly thought this day would never come. I've always had a part of me that wanted to travel and experience difference parts of the world but that time has never come - until now. I know it's going to be an adjustment, I won't have the same comforts as I do at home (bread is $15.00 - I'll be living without carbs) but it'll be an adventure.

Half of this adventure is figuring out what I'm going to need while I'm down there. I can't pack for this like I do vacations - the night before - it takes weeks of planning. Here's a rough list of things I'm bringing down:

- Paper, spiral note books, pens, pencils, highlighters, post its, apple chargers, shampoo/conditioner, body wash, toothbrushes, toothpaste, razors, shorts, t-shirts, 1 sweater, socks, running shoes, birks, hiking boots, insect repellant, filtering water bottle, mosquito netting, canteens, sunscreen, hats, workout attire, summer dresses, peanut butter, nutella, crackers, granola bars, sheets, pillows, kleenex, toilet paper, aloe vera, coffee, french press, rain jacket, old textbooks

And that's all I can think of off the top of my head. As you can see I'm bringing everything down that I possibly can. Not only regular things to bring on a trip but also ALL of my schooling materials plus extra.

I'll be flying out January 1st at 6:25 am - here's to an amazing last few weeks in the homeland!

Jen

Fall Seven Times - Get Up Eight

Hello friends!

I've officially reached the mid point of MERP. So far I've completed seven weeks of intensive studying, coffee drinking and lack of sleeping. Those of you who have tried to talk to me, or hang out, know how difficult it is to get in touch with me now.

I remember reading that in order to succeed in medicine (or I guess anything for that matter) you must totally commit yourself to it. I don't think I've ever pushed myself this much - and been so critical on myself - in my academic career. We've been told repetitively that this program is a walk in a park compared to what the island is going to be like.

AKA

If you think it's difficult to get in touch with me now just wait until I'm living in a third world country and have gotten invested in my school work down there. I will apologize in advance.

As I have reached the middle of the semester morale has been dropping - fear and anxiety has started to set in. I'm starting to feel all of the information I've fit into my brain, the late nights trying to understand trouble topics, and reality setting in that I could be leaving to finally achieve my dreams of becoming a doctor.

I'm writing this to anyone, and to remind myself, who is going through a stressful time that all of your hard work will pay off. Sometimes it's hard to see all you have achieved when you are so fixated on something minor you cannot figure out.

Take a step back.

Look at the big picture.

Look at how far you come and how much closer you are at achieving whatever it is you want to do.

Every road is going to have speed bumps, but don't put them there yourself. Keep your head down and work hard - but also don't forget to take a step back and enjoy yourself every once and a while. Trust me from experience, nothing is more frustrating than trying to do work when you are mentally burnt out.

What are some things you guys do to boost your morale or take a break from work?

- Jen

Brace yourselves - Mini 1 is here.

Hey guys!

I was planning on blogging once a week - I promise - but I quickly realized that it would not be possible. The work piles on quickly. As I mentioned before for two lectures a day I am doing a significant amount of work in the evening to stay on top of my studies. Here's a typical day.

6:30 am - wake up
6:31 am - make coffee
8:00 am - 2:00 pm - classes
3:00 pm - gym
4:00 pm - study
7:00 pm - dinner
7:30 pm - 11:00 pm - study

And then do it all over again the next day. One important thing that has been drilled into our heads is to keep on top of your school work. Even if that means you staying up later to finish your notes for that day you should do it. In undergrad I would aim to stay on top of rewriting my notes on a daily basis buuuuuut if I happened to click on an episode of Greys Anatomy instead I wouldn't be too concerned.

I told myself I was still technically learning since it is a medical show ;)

It's impossible to do that in medical school. The vast amount of work that is given to you - and that you need to learn gives you little to no time to binge watch Greys Anatomy or whatever other TV show you Netflix in your spare time.

Now I should probably get back to studying and practice what I preach.

Until after mini 1!

Jen

Patience is a Virtue

Hey!

I've been working at my job for over a month now and I've been learning some pretty big lessons. A reoccurring one - almost on the daily - is patience.

If you know me you know I am not a patient person. I do not like waiting for people or waiting for things to happen. I want to know everything now and I want everything to happen when I want it to happen. But that has slowly been changing...

After having to help people who are all in a hurry to get through the walk in or don't have time for a physiotherapist or chiropractor who is running a little bit behind I've realized that all of that uses up WAY too much energy.

I've started to notice in myself that things I used to get hung up on I no longer stress about (and trust me, I am a huge overanalyzer). You may never know why something is the way it is but there is no reason to stress about that. It took me a good 22 years to figure that out but I am onwards and upwards on the train to stress free living!

- Jen

PS. if you have any ideas for any future blog posts PLEASE feel free to comment or send me a message on any forms of social media.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

After reading that title I'm sure you're thinking how cliche that sounds.

As much as I hate to believe it too, it's so true.

I don't know about all of you but I've had to work pretty hard to get where I am today. School never came easy, jobs never came easy, nothing ever really came easy. It always took time and patience.

Within the last month I have finally achieved my dream of being accepted to medical school and have a dream (part time) job. Although I was very frustrated and kept thinking that my hard work never pays off I'm glad I pulled myself back together and allowed myself to wait.

If there is one thing I've learned in my approximately 22 years it's that positive vibes and good intentions always come back around. It may take a while but they will always come back to you. If you put good energy out good energy will come back.

And with that I am giving all of you some good energy!

- Jen xo