IMF

Friends!

I had been planning on blogging once I settled in here but that hasn't happened yet. It's a VERY DIFFERENT busy than studying for boards. I feel like I'm constantly on the move and quite honestly I've been finding it difficult to get into a rhythm. I'm normally the kind of person who can get into a schedule pretty quickly but with our continuously changing schedule that's been pretty tough for me here.

Basically my week looks like 2 days in the clinic interviewing and doing physical exams on patients, 2 days on campus for simulations, OSCES, and skills labs and one day of lectures. This past weekend we were trained in ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) and BLS (basic life support) and this coming weekend we have PALS (Pediatric advanced life support).

I have also found out where I am doing my core rotations...

...and...

I'LL BE IN NEW YORK!

I was hoping to not have to deal with another winter (I am not a fan) BUT I am excited to be close to home again and be able to experience the city! I'll be starting my cores with Family Medicine so I am a little nervous since I've been told that's the most difficult shelf exam but I'm trying to keep an open mind.

Although starting in the hospitals means beginning a brand new learning curve, I am excited to begin and do what every medical student went into medicine for - to help patients.

With beginning a brand new part of my medical school journey the dreaded imposter syndrome has been sneaking up on me again - wondering if I'm actually good enough for this, whether medicine is right for me, am I even smart enough to be going into clinicals?

I'd be lying if I wrote to all of you that I have no fears going into core rotations. I am just as nervous as I was when I was leaving to go to Dominica. But there was one important thing I learned from all of those tears I cried before I went to medical school on an island...

Any time you feel the most uncomfortable and the most nervous you're about to have the most personal growth.

Looking back I was SO SCARED to go to medical school in Dominica but I can say with 100% certainty I would not be even close to the person I am today without all of the experiences I had on the island.

- Jen

MS3

Friends!

Long time no post!!! I've been waiting to post and finally share that I have closed the door on MS2 and am moving forward to MS3!

I think this is the year that all medical students dream about. Finally getting into the hospital, being done with Step One, interacting with real patients with real problems and really diving into medicine.

Since writing Step I've been running around trying to get my life organized and finish all of my pre hospital health check ups along with organizing my life into two suitcases before I head off to IMF.

I've slowly been updating my professional attire since, let's be real, I've been living in leggings and tank tops for the past year.

What is IMF you may be wondering? Well my school has a six week program called the Internal Medicine Foundations that we must complete before starting our core rotations. The simplest explanation is it's a pre-clinical bootcamp... we get to work on and perfect our patient encounters, practical skills (scrubbing in, IV lines, physical exams), SOAP (Subjective, Objective, Assessment, Plan) notes and History and Physical Exam notes. Even though I haven't started yet, I am very thankful that my school has this since it allows us to brush up our skills before we're in the hospital on our rotations (I know my first few interviews/physical exams aren't going to be the smoothest).

After six weeks of IMF we begin our core rotations (one year) which consist of Family Medicine, Surgery, Internal Medicine, Ob/Gyn, Pediatrics and Psychiatry.

Also, I've been looking at all of the different resources available for core rotations and it's been VERY overwhelming!

I'm planning on keeping you all updated throughout this part of my medical journey as well - what resources I've used and my experiences along the way. If there's anything in particular you want me to write about please let me know.

AND THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, for joining me on this journey.

- Jen

The Last Hoorah

My internet family!

I just found out today I have passed the island portion of my lifelong journey of medicine. I had to recheck multiple times before I would actually believe it... BUT I DID IT!

I want to start this off by sending a huge congratulations to all of my classmates who went through this amazing journey with me. You all did it and you should be so proud of your accomplishments! I can't wait to rotate in hospitals with you.

I thought since I've been on the island for 16 months I'd give you guys 16 things I've learned while on island:

1. How to live without running (clean) water and other luxuries of home
I remember my first week on island, I was so shell shocked about being here. Dominica was nothing like home. You didn't have a Wal-Mart down the street or grocery stores on every corner. It was a developing country. I didn't know what to expect when I left my sweet comfort zone I called home but when I got to Dominica I realized what I was in for. At first it was weird filling up your water at a filling station but over time you got used to it. You got used to the low water pressure at certain times of the day and just worked your way around it (I am now a morning shower person), or when you turned your tap on that one time late at night and nothing came out. Since then I always have an extra water bottle for brushing my teeth.

2. 8 straight hours of sleep is a luxury
At home I'm used to sleeping in relatively quiet areas, aka the suburbs, so coming to Dominica and hearing bugs all night, and waves, and motorcycles was something to get used to INITIALLY. Then the semester starts... and all of a sudden you notice yourself telling yourself "one more hour... I'll be okay". Then you start calculating how long you'll be asleep if you fall asleep RIGHT NOW.

3. Simple things become difficult
I find this point partially embarrassing but it's true. I have lost the ability to do some simple tasks or utilize the English language. The amount of times I've tried to order something on campus and I stand there pointing to food at a total loss of what this item is actually called. It ALWAYS happens to me with pepper jack cheese. Recently I've been leaving the tap running and walking away...

4. Dominica is NOT the Dominican Republic
I confused this the first few months after I applied

5. There is a reason people in the Caribbean leave the Caribbean in the summer
It gets HOT here in the summer. I mean your skin feels like it's melting off hot. For our summer semester I would leave my house an hour earlier in the morning and an hour later at night to make sure I didn't melt. I would also take multiple showers a day and drink loads of water and STILL managed to get dehydrated.

6. No amount of coffee is enough coffee
If you know me you know this is a life motto of mine. It does get scary though when you drink a lot of coffee/energy drinks/caffeine pills and you still yawn as if you've never slept before. I've been working on keeping my caffeine levels low unless a mini or final is coming up and I 150% recommend doing that.

7. When it rains it pours
I mean that literally. Don't EVER leave your umbrella at home. It could look like a nice innocent sunny day, but I promise you as soon as you leave your house the weather gods sense you left the umbrella at home and they will make it pour... for the rest of the day.

8. Don't forget sunscreen
Again you may think "I'll be outside for less than an hour in the middle of the day I'll be good!" WRONG. If you are fair skinned like me trust me you will burn, and you will peel and it will be the most uncomfortable burn of your life. The sun down here is strong.

9. Nothing is better than a sunrise or sunset
If you've looked at my Instagram you will see MANY sunsets, and if you go through my phone you will find countless more. There's something about watching the sun set and hearing the waves hitting the beach that can make any amount of stress go away (even if it's for just a minute).

10. Island time is a real thing
Your landlord tells you 10:30, or laundry is supposed to arrive at 9... add on about 30 mins (on a good day) and that's the approximate time that your appointment will actually happen. At first this is kind of odd to get used to but by the end of the first or second month it's just the normal.

11. Not doing anything is a very guilty feeling
You will see after about a month into medical school, you're always doing something. Organizing notes, scarfing food down, writing notes, watching lecture, walking somewhere, going to lab, working on clinical skills... it's always go, go, go and all you want to do is to sit and relax. When you do get that day to sit and do nothing you feel guilty and weird... like you should be doing something. Every time I go home my parents always tell me to sit and chill SORRY NOT IN MY VOCABULARY ANYMORE.

12. Missing family events suck
Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Canada Day, Fourth of July... never gets easier. I always get the FaceTime call in followed by the "woah you look tired"... thanks guys... and being shown the yummy food and just being with the extended family.

13. Being homesick happens... often
You're so busy while you're on the island and you have barely any time to think about anything other than school and what you're doing tomorrow for class. But when you do sit down and think (especially if you stayed on island between semesters) you really start to miss your concrete jungles back home. Remember that traffic you used to despise? You kind of miss sitting in it. Those obnoxious honks from cars speeding by? You miss it. Starbucks... you miss it... a lot.

14. Missing food you never missed is normal
When I lived back at home did I ever crave any type of fast food? NEVER! A salad? NO WAY! On island... every day. Being in a smaller town is great because you don't have many distractions but it also means you see the same restaurants every day. When you first come on island that Chinese place down the street may be the best! Two months in you never want to see chicken fried rice ever again.

15. Your family may be far away but your friends will fill that void
This runs closely with lesson 12... even though you miss family events with your family back home you get to spend them with what I like to call them my "Island Tribe". What is also sad about this lesson is that you only get to spend these events with this island tribe on Dominica once. That's right one time. Unless you're lucky and you get your birthday on island two times. As difficult as it is to not be with your family for those special days - your island tribe will always come to save the day when you're feeling some serious home-sickness.

16. Self love is the best love
Medical school is tough stuff. It's no walk in the park and if someone says it is they're a liar. You have to push yourself harder than you've ever pushed yourself in your entire life. Sometimes it pays off. Sometimes it's as if you never studied. It happens to every single one of us. It's hard to realize at times but you didn't get here by chance. You worked your butt off and made sacrifices in your life to get here. It may not seem like its paying off now but in the long run it is. Never EVER give up hope on your dream. If you ever need a little pick me up always feel free to shoot a message my way.

Jen

Hospital Visit Number One!

Hello!

I had a few people ask me about my experience at Princess Margaret Hospital this past week so I figured I'd do a whole post about it!

For those of you who may not know in 4X at Ross we do two hospital visits to the main hospital in Dominica - Princess Margaret Hospital. The hospital is located in the capital of Dominica Roseau - about an hour drive from where the school is.

For this visit I was in the Dialysis and Oncology units in the morning and then I did a mock OSCE in the afternoon.

For those who don't know what OSCE is - it's a clinical exam we take - Step 2 CS. For the real exam, we go through 20 rooms, each with a standardized patient, and we perform an interview and physical exam and then we have 10 minutes to write a SOAP note after each room. The standardized patient grades us along with doctors who watch the video recordings of us in the room. Ours was not as intense (it still was though don't get me wrong - I definitely had my adrenaline pumping) we had 3 rooms instead of 20. But essentially everything else was the same. Even though it was very stressful I'm happy we were given the opportunity to practice our skills and go though a mock Step 2 CS exam.

As for the hospital itself - it looks nothing like a hospital you would imagine back at home. It was essentially blocks with covered walkways connecting different wards together. So we first went to the dialysis unit where patients come on two different regimens for their treatment; Monday, Wednesday, Friday OR Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Since these patients have kidneys that are functioning at very low levels they need to come three times a week so the dialysis machines can filter their blood for them. We had the honour of meeting two patients who allowed us to talk to them and learn more about their back story and how they ended up on dialysis.

We met one pleasant woman who was from the same area as Ross who allowed us to palpate her fistula (the connection of a vein to an artery) and it was different than a normal pulse that's for sure - I'm not even sure how to describe it. I've never been in a dialysis unit or palpated a fistula so this was all very new and interesting to me.

Next we went to the Oncology ward - unfortunately it wasn't a very busy day but we had the amazing opportunity to speak with one of the doctors, Dr. Malakar, who actually helped to find the discipline of Oncology in the medical field. I personally gained a lot more insight into Oncology and how doctors manage patients with a large team.

My next visit is on February 14th (Happy Valentines Day to me) and I will be going into two specialities for the day which I am very excited about. I'm crossing my fingers hoping I'm able to go into the OR or go into the Orthopaedic ward.

Jen

One Year Can Change Everything

Hello my friends!

I'm currently sitting in a classroom learning about hypertension and all different vascular and heart disorders (I'm in my Cardio block) and I took a little study break and I saw that one year ago today I had my white coat ceremony. I can vividly remember the day... we had lectures that morning and then in the afternoon we got to sit through our white coat ceremony. I couldn't focus in class that day - this is a big day for any medical student - finally getting that short white coat with the hopes that one day it will become a long white coat. I remember looking around at all of my classmates and just seeing how happy and determined we all were.

Since then we've gone through three full semesters - now starting our fourth. It's been a long and bumpy road I tell you but all the while so worth it. Throughout this past year, and I can only speak for myself, there have been so many tears, frustrations, doubt, panic phone calls home, naps, patient encounters, skills developed, people met and mental strength that I don't think I can even put it into words. You really don't know what this takes until you fully immerse yourself in it.

Even still I find myself sitting here thinking, "Do I really deserve to be here?" and that thought is always followed by "JENNIFER YOU CAN'T FAKE YOURSELF THROUGH MEDICAL SCHOOL". And I think we all need to really realize that. You didn't just somehow stumble upon this path and somehow made it to this point in your journey by chance. You did it because you put in the hard work and dedication and carved your way here. Yes I said it...

YOU DID IT you smart human you!

So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a little credit, I know we are all our hardest critics, because you should be pretty darn proud of yourself for getting this far in your journey. Whether it be deciding you want to go into medicine, getting accepted into medical school, finishing your first...second...third...fourth...fifth semester, writing step one/comlex, doing rotations, getting that match, getting through residency or getting that ultimate final goal of being an attending. Hold your head high and smile because it takes a lot of hard work and you did it... not by luck or by some chance.

You did it because you worked your butt off and achieved it.

Jen

MERP C - we out!

Positivity Breeds Positivity

Hello my friends!!!

So I've been taking my time to get to writing this haha - sorry!

I wanted to wait to make sure I passed 3X before I wrote anything but I'm officially heading to my final semester of the island in January! It's been one heck of a ride since last year at this time when I was just starting my journey to the island. Thank you to everyone who has been following my stories since then!

I'm currently in Brooks, Alberta (a little town 2 hours south of Calgary) with my family because my brother plays for the Brooks Bandits and they have a game on New Years Eve! I'm super excited about that and shockingly this is the first time I've flown domestically in Canada AND the first time I've gone west of London, Ontario. So far it's been pretty windy and cold (I'm not so good with winter) but it's beautiful here. The town is small but nice and everyone is SO friendly and welcoming. I've layered up my socks and have two on at all times since one was not cutting it. As for the hockey arena here - it is BEAUTIFUL. Looks like a professional rink and by far the nicest I've been in, and I sat in my fair share of arenas growing up.

ANYWAYS back to medicine! The mental break has been so nice and SO NECESSARY. I can't stress taking a mental break enough. You think you can just powerhouse through it and you don't need to take a break but your mind needs it. If your school gives you time in your schedule or between semesters UTILIZE THAT BREAK or you will burn out! Mind you I have started looking at my Cardiology section of First Aid (since yesterday) just to start refreshing my memory before my cardiology block in 4X! Although cardio is a difficult block and very conceptual I am interested in it and I do find it pretty darn cool.

I don't think I've actually fully processed the fact that I am heading into my final semester on the island... after this one island life is done. That's pretty scary to think about. I still feel like a medical baby. I'm also shocked at the amount of information we've packed into our minds in the last year. It's absolutely crazy and I still shock myself when I sit down and explain something to a friend or family.

When I sit back and think about how much things have changed in the past year it scares me but also makes me feel incredibly excited. If you put your mind to something and believe you can do it you will be shocked at how much things can change for you in a year. There's no reason to think you are unable to do something just because someone may have said you are unqualified or "it'll never happen". My own situation is a prime example and I use my brother - who has had MANY trials and tribulations himself - as my inspiration to keep pushing.

I'm cutting this short so I can catch the end of my brothers practice but PLEASE never give up hope or faith. You can and you will do it!

Jen

That arena...

One Month Left

Hey guys!

It's been about a month since you've heard from me (sorry about that) but I've been a busy little medical student over here! We just had a very heavy, and very interesting, Heme and Lymph and MSK block and mini. Now we are in our GI block and then we have Reproductive and then third semester will be over!

I don't know about the rest of my class but I am starting to feel the burn of basically being in school for a year straight (including MERP). I think no matter how much you try to avoid it it will hit you at one point and from then on it's a pure endurance battle. Waking up in the morning is a little harder, easy concepts seem so much more difficult, going home seems painfully far away and stress levels keep rising.

It gets tough and nothing really ever prepares you for it. One of my good friends posted an article saying to go into medicine because you want to go into medicine, not because you have stellar grades or your parents want you to or you want to make money. None of that will get you through medical school. The only thing that will get you through will be your desire to become a doctor. This got me to thinking - what were my thoughts before I got into medical school. How did I interpret becoming a doctor and more importantly medical school?

So I started rummaging through my inbox with the hopes of finding my MD Essay.

Here's a little bit of that essay. I know it's helping me out right now to read it again and to realize all you need to do is fight.

"My road to fourth year has required significant focus and I have been faced with many different challenges along the way. The identity crisis in my very first semester, realizing that what I had envisioned myself studying was not actually what I wanted to do alarmed me tremendously. I found I struggled with identifying who I was. During my whole high school career it seemed obvious that I would study Mechanical Engineering. When I came to the realization that I had no passion for it, it made me extremely nervous and uncomfortable. What would I do without the identity I had developed over the past four years? I had to find something else to be passionate about and that I would enjoy studying that was not Robotics or Mechanical Engineering. With a lot of support from my friends and family I realized that all along I enjoyed the movement of objects, not necessarily robotic objects, but human movement.

After dealing with my identity crisis in first year and transferring into Kinesiology I was finally getting my feet on the ground and I began to feel like myself again. I loved my classes, and found that I was excited to learn again. Unfortunately, I received devastating news of the passing of a very close family member right before my finals in December 2012 - the first half of my second year. Even though I tried to put up a strong front, this death affected me. Not soon after, in September 2013, my grandfather passed away from cancer. I was very close to my grandfather and although he had been battling cancer for a number of years I was still shocked and heartbroken. In that same month my father had heart surgery, which also took a toll on my schooling. And regrettably my father required a second heart surgery in November 2013. I did all that I could to focus on my schoolwork. Ultimately maybe I should have let myself heal from all of those traumatic experiences, but my education is very important to me and I knew if I could get through all this I would emerge a stronger and better person.

Through the tough times I strived to keep a smile on my face and a positive outlook on life. Looking back at my life, I realized that if I didn’t go through the tough times I wouldn’t be who I am today. The tough times made me realize how beautiful life is and how one smile can make a massive impact on someone’s day.

If I could pinpoint a specific time that made my passion for medicine grow it would have to be during the year 2013 when I had multiple stressors in my life. That was when I came to the conclusion that there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to pursue a career in medicine. If I could alleviate someone’s pain, or brighten someone’s day and be lucky enough to call that my job I would never have to work a day in my life."

- Jen

My mom and grandma visited me today :)

You CAN do it.

Hello my friends!

I've been living in my classroom studying my life away (more so than usual). Third is turning out to be one busy semester but we're getting more into the clinical and pathological aspects of medicine so it is VERY interesting.

I haven't written a post because I've been finding it kind of difficult to find some inspiration to write. Normally I'd write about keeping the motivation high and remembering why you did this... but since I couldn't even practice that skill myself I felt like theres no way I could write about it. I'm feeling the toll school has taken on me mentally and physically. I've been so tired, with no amount of coffee or sleep helping.

I've pretty much hit a rut.

And I feel like everyone around me has felt like they've gotten into a rut too. Every time I see something like this happening around me I try and think about what good will come from this.

Over the past three weeks I have had multiple conversations with multiple people about how stressed they are and how they don't feel motivated.

I noticed a trend - when people were consoling me about if I could get through it they were so positive and motivational. They had all the confidence that I could pull this off. But when the conversation turned and we were talking about them, their mood changed and the positivity and confidence faded. Which pulls me back to a conversation I had with a good friend about confidence. She told me a quote and I will never forget it...

"You need to learn to be your own best friend"

And I thought, how powerful is that? It should be so easy - yet it is one of the hardest things to do.

I'm guilty of it - friends and family continuously tell me, "Jennifer you're more than capable of this" but I'm my own toughest critic and things that make my parents more proud than they already are just make me shrug my shoulders. 

So I challenge you, and I will continue to challenge myself to try to become my own best friend.

- Jen

M2 here we go!

Hello my friends!

I am writing this post from an amazing villa in St. Maarten - on my first day where I can actually take a breath and relax (minus my 3:30 am wake up for my 8 am flight). I'm here with my mom and my good friend Jackie. It's been a long four months not seeing my mom so there were some tears when I saw her. She also surprised me with birthday cards from friends and family back home so that had sleep deprived me back into a sobbing mess.

I wrote my final on Tuesday and that was probably one of the hardest tests I've written on the island so far. Within one week we had our fourth mini, a practical exam and our final. That week was honestly the hardest I've worked in my student career thus far. I knew going into this semester that physiology was not my strongest subject and I needed to work a little harder to get the material... and even harder once the semester was coming to an end because I could feel myself getting burnt out. That week leading up to the final were some of the longest, most frustrating days I've experienced as a student.

While I'm going through this I would check my Timehop app (it's my morning routine) and I realized I began MERP a year ago. Reflecting back on how stressed I was I realized how far I've come both academically and mentally over the past year.

Two days later...

Alright I've been slacking on this post but I WILL FINISH IT NOW

Our MPeL and MPS was released today so I can officially announce that I am a M2 student!!!

*cue the largest sigh of relief*

Starting September I will be a 3X student and I will be the Prime Minister of the Canadian Club on campus - I'm doing a little happy dance right now.

As I mentioned earlier I've pushed myself harder than I've ever pushed myself in my life. And it's been paying off - I tell myself every evening "want it more than you're scared of it". Some days are rough, and it's so incredibly difficult to motivate myself - but I look around and I am inspired by every single one of my friends. They all work so hard and will always put a smile on my face.

See you all on the flip side starting 3X!

Jen

Finding Dory in Dominica

Hello friends!

Just writing to you after my first weekend off since coming to the island! We just finished our Neurology block - we had our practical exam on Wednesday and our Mini on Friday. I think I can speak for my whole class in saying that we've been waiting for this weekend since first semester. Even though we had no classes this week it was a tough week. I find neuro very interesting but there was so much information to try and cram into our heads. After this semester I'm 100% certain we deserved this weekend off (even though it went by in the blink of an eye).

Second semester has been tough I'm not going to lie. I'm not very strong in Physiology and this is a very Physiology dense semester. I've been working my butt of to try and grasp this information as much as I possibly can (along with trying to figure out how to get more hours in my day - if anyone has an answer please let me know).

This weekend was so relaxing - but we also had a lot of fun! On Friday night we went to a Paediatrics Student Auction where my friends and I were auctioned off for 2400 EC - approximately 860 USD. We were so excited that we were able to raise that much money for a child on the island to have a heart surgery.

On Saturday we spent the afternoon Snorkelling in Cabrits National Park. It was a nice boat ride - three hours and two different reefs. The water was so blue, clear and stunning - one thing that I love so much about the island. I'd never been snorkelling before so I was so excited to finally go and cross that off my bucket list.

Today I had a nice sleep in and a brunch at my favourite breakfast place called Aunty Graces. A group of us then went to a lazy river past the airport and just enjoyed nature - admiring our Jurassic Park Island.

I still sit here in total awe of where I am studying medicine. Not only am I living out my dream of becoming a doctor but I also get to do it on a stunning island. As I've mentioned before it can be frustrating because it's not like home and we don't have the same things readily available but the island itself is so beautiful. It's very easy to get caught up in the little bubble surrounding campus and you don't even realize it but it wears you out. It's always go-go-go around here and you don't ever get much time to just relax and not do anything.

I know I surely needed this weekend to pull everything back together and regain some mental sanity. These next four weeks are going to be long and difficult but I need to keep pushing through. I always tell you guys I keep it totally honest here and I'm going to keep it that way. I'm mentally exhausted and I'm nervous for the next two blocks we have, Endocrine and Reproductive Systems. I haven't had too much exposure to either so it's going to be a larger learning curve for me. All we can really do is keep moving forward and stay positive.

Jen

Snorkelling

The Upper Deck

Food my parents sent

Sunsets

Study Day

Snorkelling

Snorkelling

Snorkelling

Snorkelling

Tubing

3/4 Of The Way Through First Year

Hello my friends and family!!

We just had our second mini of second semester yesterday and thankfully had a BEAUTIFUL day to relax on the beach afterwards and enjoy a well deserved dinner and night off. Our second mini was all about the GI and Renal systems - it was a tough one and it really took a lot out of me. The blocks were short but very dense and full of a lot of information and material. Now we are on to our Neuro and Psychiatric block which I am very excited about.

I've received a decent amount of questions about how you tough out medical school and being so far away from home so I'm going to share my knowledge on my blog.

In all honesty it's hard. As I said before the last two blocks took a lot out of me, I was constantly tired, frustrated, and home sick. It's hard to keep on pushing through material when you aren't as interested in it or it's just not sticking. I'm still figuring out how to master that skill and am growing from my mistakes daily. One of the big things I learned, (and I know this may sound silly) is to actually pretend you're interested in whatever you may be learning. You don't want to know the amount of times I was studying and I had to pep talk myself and say "OK JEN, you love intestinal motility and secretions - keep on reading".

I've also come to realize if you're in a bad mood and are not willing to learn you will not learn or retain the information. I really grasped this concept after these past two blocks. So how do you get yourself into a positive mindset to learn? I love motivational videos, beach walks, calling home and meditation have done miracles for me.

Medical school is tough, and I know people say that time and time again. Until you've been here and gone through it you won't understand what I actually mean. Not only do you need to learn a lot of information you need to mentally keep yourself in check. This game is just as much physical as it is mental. I've dealt with some mental blocks myself and I have to continuously remind myself to not bring myself down or beat myself up over minor things.

The past is the past - learn from it and keep on keeping on. You're not going to be amazing at every single block and that's just a fact. You're meant to be here and use whatever drove you to be a doctor in the first place to keep that flame burning!

Jen

We kinda love snapchat

My walk to school

Kitty cuddles

Suture lab

After mini 2

Sunset last night

Hometown Family To Island Family

I recently got a question; "how do you handle being so far away from home, away from friends and family, on an island by yourself with only being able to study?"

I know I had this question before I came down to Dominica and it really festered in my mind, kept me up at night, and made me really worry. I was fortunate enough to know the other students in my MERP Canada class so that calmed some of my nerves but I was still nervous.

"All my friends are at home, I only know 10 people, my family is nowhere near, I can't go home on weekends like in undergrad" ... all these thoughts (and more) passed through my mind night after night as the big departure date was coming.

My mom came down with me and stayed for two weeks, and dad was able to come for the second week my mom was here - I couldn't have been happier to have them here as I settled in to a new country. But let me tell you - the night they were leaving I bawled my little eyes out. I was so upset. They were my last bit of home left on this island - and they were going BACK home. I was devastated - but with the pace of the material here you need to keep on track and trudge forward.

As the semester continued on and days were spent in a classroom or library time flew by and many new friendships were made. The best thing about being down in Dominica is that everybody is dealing with the same things you are. We have the same classes, same professors, same amount of work we need to do and most importantly we're all far away from home.

And you bond over that. You find your tribe, as I like to call my friends, because they are there day in and day out like a family. My island family has been with me through just about every type of emotion you can think of. When things get tough we band together and support one another.

I know for a fact there is no way I would have gotten through first semester on my own and I can thank each and every classmate for putting a smile on my face at one point in time last semester and this semester. My heart is so full with the love I have for my friends here.

I honestly didn't know how things would be down on the island.

Are the students going to be cut throat?
Are the upper semesters going to be intimidating?

The answer to both questions is no. I've never met a group of more supportive and encouraging group of students.

Do I still get homesick and wish I was with my family? Absolutely, there are good days and there are bad - but I've always got my second family here in Dominica and they mean the world to me.

Jen

One Month In

Hello friends!

I figured I'd write a post (definitely not doing this as procrastination) about one month in to my semester and let you guys know how life on the island is going.

I'm in my 2X semester, all the "X" means is I'm finishing the schooling portion of my MD in 16 months as opposed to 20. This semester, as I've been told, is very heavy in physiology which makes me a little nervous because physiology is not my strong suit. We've completed our Cardiovascular 1 and are finishing up our Respiratory 1 before our first Mini on Tuesday. So far we've had all physiology classes except for 4 lectures so there's been a lot of information thrown our way.

In second we also have ICM (clinical skills) and SGL's. The ICM's are hour long sessions where we learn how to perform various tests done during a physical exam. At the end of the semester we're going to be tested during a practical exam. SGL's are essentially case studies done in a small group. You spend one hour with a patient interviewing them and learning about their clinical case. The next hour is spent discussing with your group and then everyone is delegated a different aspect of the case to do research on before their next meeting. I have my first one tomorrow and I'm pretty nervous/excited to see how it will go.

As always school is a whirlwind of emotions. Some days I wake up and I wonder if I'll ever become a doctor, or if I'm in too far over my head and maybe this isn't for me. Those days are hard to get through, lectures seem so much longer, the material seems so much drier, I miss home so much more. I've experienced how straining this is mentally. I've never been so challenged academically and emotionally in my life. It seems so easy to give up. Go back home and figure life out. But then I have my island family who always manages to make the bad days better. They talk me out of my funk and remind me all of the reasons I fought to get here in the first place.

When it gets difficult, and it always does, I try to remember why I want this so badly. Why I'd make myself go through 14 hour days, barely any sleep, coffee as a lifeline... and I know, I know that once I get through medical school, get my MD, get through residency and become an attending I will never have to work a day in my life. Sure everything leading up to that attending position seems like it could be a deterrent - but honestly - there's nothing else I'd rather be doing with my time.

Jen

I love these crazy Canadian MERP-ers

Obsessed with sunsets

I can't help myself

Before CVS examination