Hi Friends!
First of all just wanted to wish a HAPPY CANADIAN THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY CANADIAN FRIENDS AND FAMILY!
Secondly, sorry I've kind of fallen off the blogging bandwagon for the last while! Third year is no joke - work and studying never seem to end and the responsibility of being in the hospital and on your "A game" is tough. I can feel the burnout hitting as I've been studying since March with only a weekend between core rotations as a break.
After being stressed myself and seeing several other friends posting about Mental Health and Awareness I wanted to add my two cents into this discussion.
In my personal opinion, even though it is the most important, mental health always falls to the back burner of every students mind. Generally you don't realize you haven't been taking care of your own mental health until later on and you find yourself in your apartment or in the hospital on the verge of a breakdown. You feel like you cant do anything right - can't answer questions properly, can't suture, tie knots, write a proper note, do a proper history and physical... the list can go on forever.
*I can actually feel my heart rate increase as I type this*
In THAT very moment is when you think
"Can I even do this?
Will I pass this shelf?
Am I going to make it through third year let alone Step 2 CS/CK?
Will I even get a residency?
How am I going to pay for all this debt I'm in?"
This list can also go on for miles and can be applicable to any stage of medical training you're in.
9 times out of 10 THAT is when we realize we haven't taken care of ourselves. Haven't eaten properly, haven't seen anything other than the inside of the hospital and our apartment, have barely slept and don't even know what self-care is at that point.
Although it seems counter-intuitive taking a little bit of time out daily or weekly to do something for yourself can help tremendously with your productivity and attention.
I'm currently in OBGYN (delivering babies) and in my first rotation where we have 24 hour calls. So figuring out how to balance school with keeping myself sane has been difficult. I notice when I'm not taking care of myself I can't focus to save my life - let alone study. It's been a journey each rotation to figure out how best I work so I can balance studying, the hospital and my personal sanity.
After OBGYN I head into Surgery where I'll spend 7 weeks in Trauma Surgery and 5 weeks in subspecialties. Then into my final rotation of third year Internal Medicine!
Even though I've had my fair share of, "Can I do this?" moments I wouldn't trade 3rd year and my experiences for anything. I've been thoroughly enjoying NYC when I do get the chance to explore and the people I have met through the hospital.
Until next time,
Jen
Showing posts with label People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label People. Show all posts
Sunday, 7 October 2018
Sunday, 22 April 2018
Tough Times
Friends!
I'm sitting here writing this and I should be going to bed but I can't help but think. Think about MERP in August 2015 then moving to Dominica January 2016 then coming home April 2017 and finally being in IMF.
It's only been 2.5 almost 3 years but I feel like I've lived a lifetime. It's been so rewarding, frustrating, exciting and nerve-racking and I can't even begin to try to put it into words.
I always end up writing these blogs when I need to hear what I'm writing in these blogs the most. I think to myself - if I need to hear this I can only imagine others do too.
I've been thinking lately about this journey... specifically my journey but I want to include everyone on this journey. I always go back and forth in my mind about sharing my journey and being public about it because I never want someone to compare their journey with mine.
Because I know I do that.
So it got me to thinking... write a blog about it.
I've heard the line (and thought the line) "well ______ is going through ______ so I can't complain".
But when I take a step back and really think about when I say something like that I'm really putting my own personal struggles and hardships down. EVERYONE... let me say this again EVERYONE is going through their own struggles. Whether it's personal or family oriented, seemingly big or seemingly small, within your control or not. We all have things we need to deal with and none of that should ever be compared. No one should ever be little their own struggles because it seems like it's not a big deal. It's important enough for you to think about - therefore it's a big deal... to YOU.
The beauty of medicine and its journey is that everyone is going to experience it very differently. We're all going to have different paths yet we all want the same thing... that MD/DO behind our names. Some students struggles may be internal - whether it be imposter syndrome, test anxiety, lack of confidence. Or external - family, friends, personal illness. Maybe some students deal with all of the above.
My point is your journey is your journey - however bumpy or smooth, internal or external. It's yours. And you should be proud of your journey. No matter how far along your journey you are. You could be in clinical rotations, basic sciences, just getting into med school, studying for your MCAT or just starting your pre-med journey.
Be proud of where you are and what you've accomplished up to this point. Never focus on someone else's road. Be proud of you.
- Jen
I'm sitting here writing this and I should be going to bed but I can't help but think. Think about MERP in August 2015 then moving to Dominica January 2016 then coming home April 2017 and finally being in IMF.
It's only been 2.5 almost 3 years but I feel like I've lived a lifetime. It's been so rewarding, frustrating, exciting and nerve-racking and I can't even begin to try to put it into words.
I always end up writing these blogs when I need to hear what I'm writing in these blogs the most. I think to myself - if I need to hear this I can only imagine others do too.
I've been thinking lately about this journey... specifically my journey but I want to include everyone on this journey. I always go back and forth in my mind about sharing my journey and being public about it because I never want someone to compare their journey with mine.
Because I know I do that.
So it got me to thinking... write a blog about it.
I've heard the line (and thought the line) "well ______ is going through ______ so I can't complain".
But when I take a step back and really think about when I say something like that I'm really putting my own personal struggles and hardships down. EVERYONE... let me say this again EVERYONE is going through their own struggles. Whether it's personal or family oriented, seemingly big or seemingly small, within your control or not. We all have things we need to deal with and none of that should ever be compared. No one should ever be little their own struggles because it seems like it's not a big deal. It's important enough for you to think about - therefore it's a big deal... to YOU.
The beauty of medicine and its journey is that everyone is going to experience it very differently. We're all going to have different paths yet we all want the same thing... that MD/DO behind our names. Some students struggles may be internal - whether it be imposter syndrome, test anxiety, lack of confidence. Or external - family, friends, personal illness. Maybe some students deal with all of the above.
My point is your journey is your journey - however bumpy or smooth, internal or external. It's yours. And you should be proud of your journey. No matter how far along your journey you are. You could be in clinical rotations, basic sciences, just getting into med school, studying for your MCAT or just starting your pre-med journey.
Be proud of where you are and what you've accomplished up to this point. Never focus on someone else's road. Be proud of you.
- Jen
Monday, 19 March 2018
MS3
Friends!
Long time no post!!! I've been waiting to post and finally share that I have closed the door on MS2 and am moving forward to MS3!
I think this is the year that all medical students dream about. Finally getting into the hospital, being done with Step One, interacting with real patients with real problems and really diving into medicine.
Since writing Step I've been running around trying to get my life organized and finish all of my pre hospital health check ups along with organizing my life into two suitcases before I head off to IMF.
I've slowly been updating my professional attire since, let's be real, I've been living in leggings and tank tops for the past year.
What is IMF you may be wondering? Well my school has a six week program called the Internal Medicine Foundations that we must complete before starting our core rotations. The simplest explanation is it's a pre-clinical bootcamp... we get to work on and perfect our patient encounters, practical skills (scrubbing in, IV lines, physical exams), SOAP (Subjective, Objective, Assessment, Plan) notes and History and Physical Exam notes. Even though I haven't started yet, I am very thankful that my school has this since it allows us to brush up our skills before we're in the hospital on our rotations (I know my first few interviews/physical exams aren't going to be the smoothest).
After six weeks of IMF we begin our core rotations (one year) which consist of Family Medicine, Surgery, Internal Medicine, Ob/Gyn, Pediatrics and Psychiatry.
Also, I've been looking at all of the different resources available for core rotations and it's been VERY overwhelming!
I'm planning on keeping you all updated throughout this part of my medical journey as well - what resources I've used and my experiences along the way. If there's anything in particular you want me to write about please let me know.
AND THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, for joining me on this journey.
- Jen
Long time no post!!! I've been waiting to post and finally share that I have closed the door on MS2 and am moving forward to MS3!
I think this is the year that all medical students dream about. Finally getting into the hospital, being done with Step One, interacting with real patients with real problems and really diving into medicine.
Since writing Step I've been running around trying to get my life organized and finish all of my pre hospital health check ups along with organizing my life into two suitcases before I head off to IMF.
I've slowly been updating my professional attire since, let's be real, I've been living in leggings and tank tops for the past year.
What is IMF you may be wondering? Well my school has a six week program called the Internal Medicine Foundations that we must complete before starting our core rotations. The simplest explanation is it's a pre-clinical bootcamp... we get to work on and perfect our patient encounters, practical skills (scrubbing in, IV lines, physical exams), SOAP (Subjective, Objective, Assessment, Plan) notes and History and Physical Exam notes. Even though I haven't started yet, I am very thankful that my school has this since it allows us to brush up our skills before we're in the hospital on our rotations (I know my first few interviews/physical exams aren't going to be the smoothest).
After six weeks of IMF we begin our core rotations (one year) which consist of Family Medicine, Surgery, Internal Medicine, Ob/Gyn, Pediatrics and Psychiatry.
Also, I've been looking at all of the different resources available for core rotations and it's been VERY overwhelming!
I'm planning on keeping you all updated throughout this part of my medical journey as well - what resources I've used and my experiences along the way. If there's anything in particular you want me to write about please let me know.
AND THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, for joining me on this journey.
- Jen
Thursday, 7 December 2017
An Open Letter To My Friends & Family
For those of you who are friends or family this letter is for you,
I wanted to say thank you for trying to understand what I've been going through while in medical school. I know it's kind of complex and I tend to have to explain the journey multiple times but don't apologize for asking me to explain it to you 'one more time'. It's tough to follow! Sometimes I don't even know the answers to your questions and I have to look them up myself.
I know I've been here, but not really here. Home, but not really home. Textbooks and question banks have taken over my life. I used to be so great at responding to text messages and remembering special events but all of those have been slipping my mind. Trust me, when I do remember them I feel HORRIBLE about forgetting about them on their proper day.
Thankfully, every time I do pop up from my little study hole and apologize for taking ages to respond you always understand and tell me not to worry. You don't even realize how much that means to me.
I can't even describe how much I wish I could go to all of the birthday parties, get togethers and events but studying has consumed my life right now.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD FOR ME.
I made the decision to go into medical school and go through the rigorous training to become a Doctor. I knew there would be some social sacrifices that would come along with it. I fully accept that - but because of that little internal "Doctor" instinct of wanting to be there for everyone, I know I have to be selfish.
I guess a part of me wants to apologize for putting you through this too - because we are going on this journey together.
You help keep my sanity. You help when I'm stressed. You help when I've had a horrible study day. You help to lighten my mood when a test is coming up. You remind me that I am supposed to be here. You tell me I will be a great Doctor one day.
Even though you attribute this to "just being a good friend" know to me it means so much more than that. I wouldn't be where I am today without you so any of my wins are just as much yours.
Thank you for joining me on this wild ride. I promise to keep the good stories coming,
Jen
I wanted to say thank you for trying to understand what I've been going through while in medical school. I know it's kind of complex and I tend to have to explain the journey multiple times but don't apologize for asking me to explain it to you 'one more time'. It's tough to follow! Sometimes I don't even know the answers to your questions and I have to look them up myself.
I know I've been here, but not really here. Home, but not really home. Textbooks and question banks have taken over my life. I used to be so great at responding to text messages and remembering special events but all of those have been slipping my mind. Trust me, when I do remember them I feel HORRIBLE about forgetting about them on their proper day.
Thankfully, every time I do pop up from my little study hole and apologize for taking ages to respond you always understand and tell me not to worry. You don't even realize how much that means to me.
I can't even describe how much I wish I could go to all of the birthday parties, get togethers and events but studying has consumed my life right now.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD FOR ME.
I made the decision to go into medical school and go through the rigorous training to become a Doctor. I knew there would be some social sacrifices that would come along with it. I fully accept that - but because of that little internal "Doctor" instinct of wanting to be there for everyone, I know I have to be selfish.
I guess a part of me wants to apologize for putting you through this too - because we are going on this journey together.
You help keep my sanity. You help when I'm stressed. You help when I've had a horrible study day. You help to lighten my mood when a test is coming up. You remind me that I am supposed to be here. You tell me I will be a great Doctor one day.
Even though you attribute this to "just being a good friend" know to me it means so much more than that. I wouldn't be where I am today without you so any of my wins are just as much yours.
Thank you for joining me on this wild ride. I promise to keep the good stories coming,
Jen
Friday, 15 September 2017
Imposter Syndrome
Hi Friends!
I write this blog post on a slow morning - as I sit here and it's past 11 and I still haven't finished my first cup of coffee.
I've been doing a lot of reflecting about undergrad and medical school these past few days and I wanted to share with you the basis of my thoughts - and Imposter Syndrome basically sums it up.
The first time I heard this term I was in PSYCH 100 in undergrad - winter semester of my first year of undergrad. Back then it was more or less a definition I had to memorize for one of my midterms and nothing more. Now it's definition has a lot more meaning in my life.
For those of you who are wondering what I'm talking about:
"According to Joan Harvey, the impostor phenomenon (IP) is a “psychological syndrome or pattern. It is based on intense, secret feelings of fraudulence in the face of success and achievement. If you suffer from the impostor phenomenon, you believe that you don’t deserve your success; you’re a phony who has somehow ‘gotten away with it.’” (Harvey, 1984, p. 3). “Syndrome” may be too strong a term, but many of us experience these feelings with varying strengths and frequencies."
https://uwaterloo.ca/centre-for-teaching-excellence/teaching-resources/teaching-tips/planning-courses/tips-teaching-assistants/impostor-phenomenon-and
I think that website from Waterloo sums it up pretty well!
But that's basically what every medical student deals with at one point in time.
I think about all the times my friends and I talk about medical school and making it off the island and I can never forget how I explain myself getting through medical school "under the radar - letting me slip through the cracks and hoping they don't find me". If that's not textbook Imposter Syndrome I don't know what is.
As I've mentioned before - as medical students we're PHENOMENAL at bringing up our classmates and believing in them but we always fail at believing in ourselves.
The amount of times I've found myself telling my friends or thinking, "If only you believed in yourself as much as I believe in you". For whatever reason I, and I'm sure many other students, cannot transfer those feelings to myself.
I've been struggling to find a way to fight those imposter feelings - that website I posted up above has some ideas that I'm going to try to implement into my daily life.
I am sure I'm not the only student who has been experiencing this so I'm opening up about them on my blog hoping to maybe kick start a conversation about this and maybe share some ideas about how to fight Imposter Syndrome.
- Jen
I write this blog post on a slow morning - as I sit here and it's past 11 and I still haven't finished my first cup of coffee.
I've been doing a lot of reflecting about undergrad and medical school these past few days and I wanted to share with you the basis of my thoughts - and Imposter Syndrome basically sums it up.
The first time I heard this term I was in PSYCH 100 in undergrad - winter semester of my first year of undergrad. Back then it was more or less a definition I had to memorize for one of my midterms and nothing more. Now it's definition has a lot more meaning in my life.
For those of you who are wondering what I'm talking about:
"According to Joan Harvey, the impostor phenomenon (IP) is a “psychological syndrome or pattern. It is based on intense, secret feelings of fraudulence in the face of success and achievement. If you suffer from the impostor phenomenon, you believe that you don’t deserve your success; you’re a phony who has somehow ‘gotten away with it.’” (Harvey, 1984, p. 3). “Syndrome” may be too strong a term, but many of us experience these feelings with varying strengths and frequencies."
https://uwaterloo.ca/centre-for-teaching-excellence/teaching-resources/teaching-tips/planning-courses/tips-teaching-assistants/impostor-phenomenon-and
I think that website from Waterloo sums it up pretty well!
But that's basically what every medical student deals with at one point in time.
I think about all the times my friends and I talk about medical school and making it off the island and I can never forget how I explain myself getting through medical school "under the radar - letting me slip through the cracks and hoping they don't find me". If that's not textbook Imposter Syndrome I don't know what is.
As I've mentioned before - as medical students we're PHENOMENAL at bringing up our classmates and believing in them but we always fail at believing in ourselves.
The amount of times I've found myself telling my friends or thinking, "If only you believed in yourself as much as I believe in you". For whatever reason I, and I'm sure many other students, cannot transfer those feelings to myself.
I've been struggling to find a way to fight those imposter feelings - that website I posted up above has some ideas that I'm going to try to implement into my daily life.
I am sure I'm not the only student who has been experiencing this so I'm opening up about them on my blog hoping to maybe kick start a conversation about this and maybe share some ideas about how to fight Imposter Syndrome.
- Jen
Wednesday, 16 August 2017
It Takes a Village
Hi my friends!
Just thought I'd do a little update and share some wisdom I've learned over the past few months.
So for those of you who have been reading my blogs or looking at my social media this may be redundant, but for any new faces around here I've been going through the hardest four months of my life. I've been studying for boards, my grandmother passed away suddenly and my father was diagnosed with cancer... again.
I didn't come on here to write some sob story about how difficult my life is right now hoping whoever reads this feels sorry for me.
I came on here to talk about getting through this journey we call medical school and life. Medical school is hard enough as it is but add life into the mix and you have a whole new ball game. It's tiring mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically - it's a lot. Not only being in medical school is hard but getting into medical school is tough too.
I know there is no magic formula that anyone can tell you that will guarantee that you will get into medical school. BUT I do know one thing that will make you last through your pre med and medical years.
A support system.
I don't want to admit the amount of times I've messaged my friends over the past 2 years saying "That's it I'm done. I don't think I can do this". From my undergrad, to MERP to the island to now.
You know who has brought me back up every one of those times? My friends and family.
I've found that my friends in medical school and from back home has been so very helpful to me in so many different ways. Everyone in medical school is going through the same experiences. They can relate to the obstacles that I'm going through right now. Compared to my friends who are not in medical school, they always show me how to look at my situation from a different perspective. Ways I'd never look at these issues before.
I know it is so easy to lock yourself up in your room and study your life away because your stress levels are so high (I've been there and done that). After a while that gets lonely and isolating and you start to feel disconnected from the world.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is if you're frustrated or having a bad day you should never feel bad messaging a friend or family member to talk about it. I know that is the only way I've gotten to this point in one piece.
I've utilized my friends and family more days than not during my schooling and they always help. Whether it's a new perspective, a calming influence, a "I feel you man" or one medical students are VERY GOOD at doing for others but not themselves - giving you confidence.
No one goes through this journey alone. Behind every successful doctor and student is a village of people who have supported them and helped them get there.
- Jen
Just thought I'd do a little update and share some wisdom I've learned over the past few months.
So for those of you who have been reading my blogs or looking at my social media this may be redundant, but for any new faces around here I've been going through the hardest four months of my life. I've been studying for boards, my grandmother passed away suddenly and my father was diagnosed with cancer... again.
I didn't come on here to write some sob story about how difficult my life is right now hoping whoever reads this feels sorry for me.
I came on here to talk about getting through this journey we call medical school and life. Medical school is hard enough as it is but add life into the mix and you have a whole new ball game. It's tiring mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically - it's a lot. Not only being in medical school is hard but getting into medical school is tough too.
I know there is no magic formula that anyone can tell you that will guarantee that you will get into medical school. BUT I do know one thing that will make you last through your pre med and medical years.
A support system.
I don't want to admit the amount of times I've messaged my friends over the past 2 years saying "That's it I'm done. I don't think I can do this". From my undergrad, to MERP to the island to now.
You know who has brought me back up every one of those times? My friends and family.
I've found that my friends in medical school and from back home has been so very helpful to me in so many different ways. Everyone in medical school is going through the same experiences. They can relate to the obstacles that I'm going through right now. Compared to my friends who are not in medical school, they always show me how to look at my situation from a different perspective. Ways I'd never look at these issues before.
I know it is so easy to lock yourself up in your room and study your life away because your stress levels are so high (I've been there and done that). After a while that gets lonely and isolating and you start to feel disconnected from the world.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is if you're frustrated or having a bad day you should never feel bad messaging a friend or family member to talk about it. I know that is the only way I've gotten to this point in one piece.
I've utilized my friends and family more days than not during my schooling and they always help. Whether it's a new perspective, a calming influence, a "I feel you man" or one medical students are VERY GOOD at doing for others but not themselves - giving you confidence.
No one goes through this journey alone. Behind every successful doctor and student is a village of people who have supported them and helped them get there.
- Jen
Saturday, 22 July 2017
Fault vs Responsibility
Hi my friends!
I'm sorry I've been neglecting you for a while - I've been super busy with both my personal life and my academic life.
There's been a lot of stuff going on with me for the past little bit so I'll just catch you guys up!
As you all may know my grandmother passed away in the middle of May very suddenly which was a pretty eye opening and horribly sad experience. Now to add to that my dad has been recently diagnosed with Collecting Duct Renal Cell Carcinoma.
To save you the trouble from googling it, it's a rare and aggressive kidney cancer. Thankfully his family physician has caught it relatively early and he is going in to have his kidney removed this week.
Am I writing this because I want you to feel sorry for me? NO
Am I writing this because I want you to feel like my struggle is worse than others? NO
Some of you may be wondering why I'm sharing all this information? Why am I writing a blog post about this?
To keep it real with anyone reading.
Life happens. People get sick. Unfortunate things happen all the time. It may suck right now and it may not be fair right now and you may feel like the world is against you.
I recently read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***", and a statement that the author made really stuck with me. I'm just going to try to paraphrase it and if you want to know more about it I HIGHLY suggest you read this book.
Basically there is a difference between "fault" and "responsibility". Generally we use those words simultaneously or tend to use them together but they are actually very different. Fault it from choices already made and responsibility results from choices that you're making right now.
For example (in my own situation) it's not my FAULT that my dad has cancer but the way I act/respond since he has cancer is my RESPONSIBILITY.
So needless to say it's been a busy time since I've posted on here and I've had some pretty stressful days and nights... but so has everyone else.
We all just need to notice the difference between fault and responsibility.
- Jen
I'm sorry I've been neglecting you for a while - I've been super busy with both my personal life and my academic life.
There's been a lot of stuff going on with me for the past little bit so I'll just catch you guys up!
As you all may know my grandmother passed away in the middle of May very suddenly which was a pretty eye opening and horribly sad experience. Now to add to that my dad has been recently diagnosed with Collecting Duct Renal Cell Carcinoma.
To save you the trouble from googling it, it's a rare and aggressive kidney cancer. Thankfully his family physician has caught it relatively early and he is going in to have his kidney removed this week.
Am I writing this because I want you to feel sorry for me? NO
Am I writing this because I want you to feel like my struggle is worse than others? NO
Some of you may be wondering why I'm sharing all this information? Why am I writing a blog post about this?
To keep it real with anyone reading.
Life happens. People get sick. Unfortunate things happen all the time. It may suck right now and it may not be fair right now and you may feel like the world is against you.
I recently read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***", and a statement that the author made really stuck with me. I'm just going to try to paraphrase it and if you want to know more about it I HIGHLY suggest you read this book.
Basically there is a difference between "fault" and "responsibility". Generally we use those words simultaneously or tend to use them together but they are actually very different. Fault it from choices already made and responsibility results from choices that you're making right now.
For example (in my own situation) it's not my FAULT that my dad has cancer but the way I act/respond since he has cancer is my RESPONSIBILITY.
So needless to say it's been a busy time since I've posted on here and I've had some pretty stressful days and nights... but so has everyone else.
We all just need to notice the difference between fault and responsibility.
- Jen
Thursday, 18 May 2017
Life Happens
Hello crew!
I've been home for about three weeks now and I've had lots going on in my personal life - academic wise it's been on the back burner.
After two weeks at home I had the unfortunate experience of losing my grandmother. She experienced a quite sudden death so it came as a shock to my whole family. As for me it also came with a bit of frustration because as I looked back at her care over the past few months I saw so many systems errors that could have been prevented that would have allowed my grandmother to be much more comfortable as she was passing and would have given my family much more closure as her time was coming up.
The week my grandmother ended up in the hospital, for what would be her last time, I had begun an online course to help with step prep. With everything that unfolded it wouldn't be an understatement to say that my mind was all over the place. All of my plans for studying and attacking step had flown out the window.
I was almost in a state of shock.
I just remember a wave of panic overwhelming my whole body and the thought, "Jen you cannot screw this up".
I thankfully have some amazing, beautiful friends (you know who you are) who sent loving messages daily to make me feel like I wasn't going through this alone and I would get through it.
But there was still that panic. "You have eight weeks to study for comp... you can't mess this up".
Not only was I dealing with the loss of my grandmother and the frustrations that had attached to it, but I knew I had to keep moving forward. I instantly thought back to third year university, September 2013, first week of classes when my grandfather passed away and three weeks later my dad having surgery. I thought about how I dealt with those family stresses then... and how that ended up hurting me in the long run.
I tried to act tough and pretend it never really happened. Never letting myself actually process what happened. Sure that was great at the time... but I barely got through orgo chem 1 leading me to fail orgo 2.
NOW THAT WAS ROUGH. Big huge blow to the ego. How the heck was I going to apply to medical school now that I failed orgo 2.
Flashforward 3.5 years and obviously I got through it and made it to the medical school side. Now I'm facing my "medical school application" of medical school... step one. And I do not want to make the same mistakes I made the first time I had deaths in the family. I owed it to myself to learn from my previous mistakes.
And I want you all to learn from my previous mistakes too... Life happens while you're studying. You need to learn to deal with both.
So if you have a traumatic event happen to you or someone close to you and you feel like you need to take a step back for a little to recharge and reboot then do it. Take some time and process. Trust me when I say I've tried ignoring it and it doesn't work.
I'm currently trying to take my own advice and it's hard to not get frustrated with myself when I can't stay focused.
Believe me when I say if you're dealing with something similar you aren't dealing with it alone.
- Jen
I've been home for about three weeks now and I've had lots going on in my personal life - academic wise it's been on the back burner.
After two weeks at home I had the unfortunate experience of losing my grandmother. She experienced a quite sudden death so it came as a shock to my whole family. As for me it also came with a bit of frustration because as I looked back at her care over the past few months I saw so many systems errors that could have been prevented that would have allowed my grandmother to be much more comfortable as she was passing and would have given my family much more closure as her time was coming up.
The week my grandmother ended up in the hospital, for what would be her last time, I had begun an online course to help with step prep. With everything that unfolded it wouldn't be an understatement to say that my mind was all over the place. All of my plans for studying and attacking step had flown out the window.
I was almost in a state of shock.
I just remember a wave of panic overwhelming my whole body and the thought, "Jen you cannot screw this up".
I thankfully have some amazing, beautiful friends (you know who you are) who sent loving messages daily to make me feel like I wasn't going through this alone and I would get through it.
But there was still that panic. "You have eight weeks to study for comp... you can't mess this up".
Not only was I dealing with the loss of my grandmother and the frustrations that had attached to it, but I knew I had to keep moving forward. I instantly thought back to third year university, September 2013, first week of classes when my grandfather passed away and three weeks later my dad having surgery. I thought about how I dealt with those family stresses then... and how that ended up hurting me in the long run.
I tried to act tough and pretend it never really happened. Never letting myself actually process what happened. Sure that was great at the time... but I barely got through orgo chem 1 leading me to fail orgo 2.
NOW THAT WAS ROUGH. Big huge blow to the ego. How the heck was I going to apply to medical school now that I failed orgo 2.
Flashforward 3.5 years and obviously I got through it and made it to the medical school side. Now I'm facing my "medical school application" of medical school... step one. And I do not want to make the same mistakes I made the first time I had deaths in the family. I owed it to myself to learn from my previous mistakes.
And I want you all to learn from my previous mistakes too... Life happens while you're studying. You need to learn to deal with both.
So if you have a traumatic event happen to you or someone close to you and you feel like you need to take a step back for a little to recharge and reboot then do it. Take some time and process. Trust me when I say I've tried ignoring it and it doesn't work.
I'm currently trying to take my own advice and it's hard to not get frustrated with myself when I can't stay focused.
Believe me when I say if you're dealing with something similar you aren't dealing with it alone.
- Jen
Our family before the viewing
RIP my new angel
Sunday, 5 March 2017
I'm Still Going!
Hi friends!
I know it's been a while since my last post - I've been so busy with my classes and clinical simulations that I've kind of neglected my little blog! Alas I'm here to write a post.
I've been struggling a little bit with keeping the motivation high and remembering why I'm going through medical school. As I've been sitting here in my own self doubt and negativity I've been scrolling through twitter, Facebook and instagram and I noticed this seems to be an ongoing thing for a decent amount of medical students right now. I don't know if it's the time of the year... something in the air... but from Ross to the US to Canada I've been seeing students struggling with motivation.
Then on my morning social media scroll I read a tweet from an account I follow and it said " Making it into and out of medical school alive are two separate things... medical school is hard, even though you get used to how hard it is". That got me to thinking and doing a little bit of reflecting - and I know I've mentioned in a previous blog post that we all need to be our own best friend before anything else.
If you look at the type of person in medical school I think I can say we all have one thing (definitely) in common. We are our own harshest critic. We all think we should push harder, study longer, read more, learn more, score higher ect ect. Whereas to people outside of medical school, (I'm talking to you my friends from back home) everyone thinks we're some type of robot who never takes time off and studies 24/7. When you take a step back and look at it - they aren't wrong. We wake up, put in 12-14 hour study days go to sleep and do it again. At first yeah it was an adjustment, then you become used to the long days, the leg cramps, the coffee shakes, the eye twitches, the aggressive yawns.
But still it's hard work!!! And even though we are used to it and call this "normal" it doesn't mean it isn't easy. It takes a toll on you mentally and physically. No matter what part of this medical journey you're on you need to think about yourself and take care of yourself. It's so easy getting caught up in studying for exam after exam then boards. There is so much to know and not enough time to learn it all. It's stressful - I'll fully admit I haven't figured out a balance for myself. I normally don't realize I'm working myself to the ground until thoughts and facts are running through my mind like crazy.
I don't have a fool proof answer to fix the medical school burn out and the self doubt, but what I do know is that you're not on this journey by accident. And you're not the first person to struggle through medical school and you definitely won't be the last. This is a difficult field to be in - but the only way you'll be able to stay in the field is if you take care of yourself first.
I have a mini coming up on Thursday so this is a stressful week coming up for me, but I'm going to try to keep the motivation and positive attitude high... I hope you do too :)
- Jen
I know it's been a while since my last post - I've been so busy with my classes and clinical simulations that I've kind of neglected my little blog! Alas I'm here to write a post.
I've been struggling a little bit with keeping the motivation high and remembering why I'm going through medical school. As I've been sitting here in my own self doubt and negativity I've been scrolling through twitter, Facebook and instagram and I noticed this seems to be an ongoing thing for a decent amount of medical students right now. I don't know if it's the time of the year... something in the air... but from Ross to the US to Canada I've been seeing students struggling with motivation.
Then on my morning social media scroll I read a tweet from an account I follow and it said " Making it into and out of medical school alive are two separate things... medical school is hard, even though you get used to how hard it is". That got me to thinking and doing a little bit of reflecting - and I know I've mentioned in a previous blog post that we all need to be our own best friend before anything else.
If you look at the type of person in medical school I think I can say we all have one thing (definitely) in common. We are our own harshest critic. We all think we should push harder, study longer, read more, learn more, score higher ect ect. Whereas to people outside of medical school, (I'm talking to you my friends from back home) everyone thinks we're some type of robot who never takes time off and studies 24/7. When you take a step back and look at it - they aren't wrong. We wake up, put in 12-14 hour study days go to sleep and do it again. At first yeah it was an adjustment, then you become used to the long days, the leg cramps, the coffee shakes, the eye twitches, the aggressive yawns.
But still it's hard work!!! And even though we are used to it and call this "normal" it doesn't mean it isn't easy. It takes a toll on you mentally and physically. No matter what part of this medical journey you're on you need to think about yourself and take care of yourself. It's so easy getting caught up in studying for exam after exam then boards. There is so much to know and not enough time to learn it all. It's stressful - I'll fully admit I haven't figured out a balance for myself. I normally don't realize I'm working myself to the ground until thoughts and facts are running through my mind like crazy.
I don't have a fool proof answer to fix the medical school burn out and the self doubt, but what I do know is that you're not on this journey by accident. And you're not the first person to struggle through medical school and you definitely won't be the last. This is a difficult field to be in - but the only way you'll be able to stay in the field is if you take care of yourself first.
I have a mini coming up on Thursday so this is a stressful week coming up for me, but I'm going to try to keep the motivation and positive attitude high... I hope you do too :)
- Jen
Sunday, 15 January 2017
One Year Can Change Everything
Hello my friends!
I'm currently sitting in a classroom learning about hypertension and all different vascular and heart disorders (I'm in my Cardio block) and I took a little study break and I saw that one year ago today I had my white coat ceremony. I can vividly remember the day... we had lectures that morning and then in the afternoon we got to sit through our white coat ceremony. I couldn't focus in class that day - this is a big day for any medical student - finally getting that short white coat with the hopes that one day it will become a long white coat. I remember looking around at all of my classmates and just seeing how happy and determined we all were.
Since then we've gone through three full semesters - now starting our fourth. It's been a long and bumpy road I tell you but all the while so worth it. Throughout this past year, and I can only speak for myself, there have been so many tears, frustrations, doubt, panic phone calls home, naps, patient encounters, skills developed, people met and mental strength that I don't think I can even put it into words. You really don't know what this takes until you fully immerse yourself in it.
Even still I find myself sitting here thinking, "Do I really deserve to be here?" and that thought is always followed by "JENNIFER YOU CAN'T FAKE YOURSELF THROUGH MEDICAL SCHOOL". And I think we all need to really realize that. You didn't just somehow stumble upon this path and somehow made it to this point in your journey by chance. You did it because you put in the hard work and dedication and carved your way here. Yes I said it...
YOU DID IT you smart human you!
So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a little credit, I know we are all our hardest critics, because you should be pretty darn proud of yourself for getting this far in your journey. Whether it be deciding you want to go into medicine, getting accepted into medical school, finishing your first...second...third...fourth...fifth semester, writing step one/comlex, doing rotations, getting that match, getting through residency or getting that ultimate final goal of being an attending. Hold your head high and smile because it takes a lot of hard work and you did it... not by luck or by some chance.
You did it because you worked your butt off and achieved it.
Jen
I'm currently sitting in a classroom learning about hypertension and all different vascular and heart disorders (I'm in my Cardio block) and I took a little study break and I saw that one year ago today I had my white coat ceremony. I can vividly remember the day... we had lectures that morning and then in the afternoon we got to sit through our white coat ceremony. I couldn't focus in class that day - this is a big day for any medical student - finally getting that short white coat with the hopes that one day it will become a long white coat. I remember looking around at all of my classmates and just seeing how happy and determined we all were.
Since then we've gone through three full semesters - now starting our fourth. It's been a long and bumpy road I tell you but all the while so worth it. Throughout this past year, and I can only speak for myself, there have been so many tears, frustrations, doubt, panic phone calls home, naps, patient encounters, skills developed, people met and mental strength that I don't think I can even put it into words. You really don't know what this takes until you fully immerse yourself in it.
Even still I find myself sitting here thinking, "Do I really deserve to be here?" and that thought is always followed by "JENNIFER YOU CAN'T FAKE YOURSELF THROUGH MEDICAL SCHOOL". And I think we all need to really realize that. You didn't just somehow stumble upon this path and somehow made it to this point in your journey by chance. You did it because you put in the hard work and dedication and carved your way here. Yes I said it...
YOU DID IT you smart human you!
So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a little credit, I know we are all our hardest critics, because you should be pretty darn proud of yourself for getting this far in your journey. Whether it be deciding you want to go into medicine, getting accepted into medical school, finishing your first...second...third...fourth...fifth semester, writing step one/comlex, doing rotations, getting that match, getting through residency or getting that ultimate final goal of being an attending. Hold your head high and smile because it takes a lot of hard work and you did it... not by luck or by some chance.
You did it because you worked your butt off and achieved it.
Jen
MERP C - we out!
Tuesday, 22 November 2016
Find your Tribe
Hey guys!
So I was asked a really good question and I thought it would give me a perfect opportunity to write a blog post.
"How do you keep going when people doubt you?"
I have a long and a short answer to this one...
In short - DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!
Now my longer response. Everyone I've spoken to has had their fair share of people who didn't believe in them or didn't think that they would be able to get to whatever their dream goal was. I can only speak from my own experience but I've had my own non-believers in my life. It's difficult when you are seeing any sort of academic advisors and they tell you to "quit" or "drop out" or "try again later". So negative... and such a bone breaking way to crush someones soul. Coming back from situations like that are very difficult. But it all boils down to your support system.
I've been so incredibly grateful that my friends and family have always stood behind my back 150%. Whether they be at home (hi Mom, Dad, Alex and Babcia!), on the other side of the country (hi Mary Anne!) or on the other side of the world (hi Susan!) I know I have people who have so much belief and faith in me that it just keeps me going.
But back to getting over that initial soul crushing moment - it's going to be hard... and it will never get easier when someone says you can't do something. Turn those emotions around and take all that sadness and all of those tears and fight. Do everything you can to prove that person wrong. So what if they don't think you can make it into medical school. Half of the time they may not really even know what it takes to get into medical school (other than your usual GPA and MCAT statistics). And find someone who does believe in you.
I've been so fortunate that my parents have always told me to follow my dreams and they will always be there for me. Internally that wasn't enough. I wanted someone from an academic standpoint to believe in me too. Fortunately I was able to find professors who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. And I want to say thank you to them - for writing my letters of recommendation, letting me sit in your office to talk, welcoming me into your lab and for most importantly not putting any weight on my transcript and basing their opinion on me after knowing me as a person and as a student.
All in all - you will have people who will doubt you or criticize you on the way but take everything they say with a grain of salt and keep on pursuing your dreams.
- Jen
So I was asked a really good question and I thought it would give me a perfect opportunity to write a blog post.
"How do you keep going when people doubt you?"
I have a long and a short answer to this one...
In short - DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!
Now my longer response. Everyone I've spoken to has had their fair share of people who didn't believe in them or didn't think that they would be able to get to whatever their dream goal was. I can only speak from my own experience but I've had my own non-believers in my life. It's difficult when you are seeing any sort of academic advisors and they tell you to "quit" or "drop out" or "try again later". So negative... and such a bone breaking way to crush someones soul. Coming back from situations like that are very difficult. But it all boils down to your support system.
I've been so incredibly grateful that my friends and family have always stood behind my back 150%. Whether they be at home (hi Mom, Dad, Alex and Babcia!), on the other side of the country (hi Mary Anne!) or on the other side of the world (hi Susan!) I know I have people who have so much belief and faith in me that it just keeps me going.
But back to getting over that initial soul crushing moment - it's going to be hard... and it will never get easier when someone says you can't do something. Turn those emotions around and take all that sadness and all of those tears and fight. Do everything you can to prove that person wrong. So what if they don't think you can make it into medical school. Half of the time they may not really even know what it takes to get into medical school (other than your usual GPA and MCAT statistics). And find someone who does believe in you.
I've been so fortunate that my parents have always told me to follow my dreams and they will always be there for me. Internally that wasn't enough. I wanted someone from an academic standpoint to believe in me too. Fortunately I was able to find professors who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. And I want to say thank you to them - for writing my letters of recommendation, letting me sit in your office to talk, welcoming me into your lab and for most importantly not putting any weight on my transcript and basing their opinion on me after knowing me as a person and as a student.
All in all - you will have people who will doubt you or criticize you on the way but take everything they say with a grain of salt and keep on pursuing your dreams.
- Jen
Wednesday, 19 October 2016
I'm Still Kicking!
Hey friends!
I know it's been a while and I'm so sorry for taking FOREVER to write up a new post. Honestly I just haven't really had any inspiration to write. The last thing I want to do is to write up a blog post and have it not be genuine. I started this blog to just help out others the way I was helped throughout this whole medical school journey so the last thing I wanted was to be posting emotions I don't genuinely feel while I'm here. Today I got that inspiration back.
We had our very first community clinic today. For those of you who don't know what it is, we go out in small groups to different villages in Dominica and perform a medical history and physical exam on a REAL PATIENT. This is done all on our own (with our junior faculty watching us to make sure we are performing our skills correctly) but we run the whole interview and physical exam on a patient who is experiencing actual symptoms and are dealing with an actual disease.
A group of colleagues and I went to a village about 30 minutes from our town thinking we were going to see two patients in the clinic but once we arrived we quickly realized the clinic had actually planned two home visits for us. As nervous as I was I was kind of excited to see what a home visit was actually like. So, we had a quick drive over to our patients house and then it was my colleagues and my show. We were greeted by a very friendly gentleman who welcomed us into his home with open arms and was ready for us to learn and to use him as a learning tool. As I sat there and spoke to the patient I realized how lucky I am to have my health and to be aware of any health concerns I could face (i.e. caffeine withdrawal). This gentleman was speaking to my colleague and I about his condition and how at first he had no idea what any of his diagnoses meant. It took him several years before actually realizing that what he is suffering from will not end well if not treated properly. This whole process of interview and physical exam took approximately an hour and I couldn't have been more grateful for the whole experience. The fact that this gentleman is suffering from several diseases and is still so happy, friendly and so willing to help students improve their medical knowledge makes my heart so warm.
This made me think about how fortunate we are back at home to have a significant amount of patient education and support groups to help patients as they go through any diseases they may be suffering from. As well as being so incredibly grateful to be able to go on this amazing, yet sometimes frustrating, journey to become a doctor. When we walk into a room we are the person in charge of this persons health and they look up to us for that. It shouldn't be taken lightly but also not to the other extreme of an overwhelming amount of pressure. I always find myself on the latter, putting too much pressure on myself to know everything and getting frustrated when I don't. A good friend of mine left me with this message and I'm going to leave it here for all of you...
"You diagnose your patient with your mind and not your heart, so study with your mind and not your heart. Your mind will save your patient. Your heart will comfort them."
- Jen
I know it's been a while and I'm so sorry for taking FOREVER to write up a new post. Honestly I just haven't really had any inspiration to write. The last thing I want to do is to write up a blog post and have it not be genuine. I started this blog to just help out others the way I was helped throughout this whole medical school journey so the last thing I wanted was to be posting emotions I don't genuinely feel while I'm here. Today I got that inspiration back.
We had our very first community clinic today. For those of you who don't know what it is, we go out in small groups to different villages in Dominica and perform a medical history and physical exam on a REAL PATIENT. This is done all on our own (with our junior faculty watching us to make sure we are performing our skills correctly) but we run the whole interview and physical exam on a patient who is experiencing actual symptoms and are dealing with an actual disease.
A group of colleagues and I went to a village about 30 minutes from our town thinking we were going to see two patients in the clinic but once we arrived we quickly realized the clinic had actually planned two home visits for us. As nervous as I was I was kind of excited to see what a home visit was actually like. So, we had a quick drive over to our patients house and then it was my colleagues and my show. We were greeted by a very friendly gentleman who welcomed us into his home with open arms and was ready for us to learn and to use him as a learning tool. As I sat there and spoke to the patient I realized how lucky I am to have my health and to be aware of any health concerns I could face (i.e. caffeine withdrawal). This gentleman was speaking to my colleague and I about his condition and how at first he had no idea what any of his diagnoses meant. It took him several years before actually realizing that what he is suffering from will not end well if not treated properly. This whole process of interview and physical exam took approximately an hour and I couldn't have been more grateful for the whole experience. The fact that this gentleman is suffering from several diseases and is still so happy, friendly and so willing to help students improve their medical knowledge makes my heart so warm.
This made me think about how fortunate we are back at home to have a significant amount of patient education and support groups to help patients as they go through any diseases they may be suffering from. As well as being so incredibly grateful to be able to go on this amazing, yet sometimes frustrating, journey to become a doctor. When we walk into a room we are the person in charge of this persons health and they look up to us for that. It shouldn't be taken lightly but also not to the other extreme of an overwhelming amount of pressure. I always find myself on the latter, putting too much pressure on myself to know everything and getting frustrated when I don't. A good friend of mine left me with this message and I'm going to leave it here for all of you...
"You diagnose your patient with your mind and not your heart, so study with your mind and not your heart. Your mind will save your patient. Your heart will comfort them."
- Jen
Monday, 22 August 2016
M2 here we go!
Hello my friends!
I am writing this post from an amazing villa in St. Maarten - on my first day where I can actually take a breath and relax (minus my 3:30 am wake up for my 8 am flight). I'm here with my mom and my good friend Jackie. It's been a long four months not seeing my mom so there were some tears when I saw her. She also surprised me with birthday cards from friends and family back home so that had sleep deprived me back into a sobbing mess.
I wrote my final on Tuesday and that was probably one of the hardest tests I've written on the island so far. Within one week we had our fourth mini, a practical exam and our final. That week was honestly the hardest I've worked in my student career thus far. I knew going into this semester that physiology was not my strongest subject and I needed to work a little harder to get the material... and even harder once the semester was coming to an end because I could feel myself getting burnt out. That week leading up to the final were some of the longest, most frustrating days I've experienced as a student.
While I'm going through this I would check my Timehop app (it's my morning routine) and I realized I began MERP a year ago. Reflecting back on how stressed I was I realized how far I've come both academically and mentally over the past year.
Two days later...
Alright I've been slacking on this post but I WILL FINISH IT NOW
Our MPeL and MPS was released today so I can officially announce that I am a M2 student!!!
*cue the largest sigh of relief*
Starting September I will be a 3X student and I will be the Prime Minister of the Canadian Club on campus - I'm doing a little happy dance right now.
As I mentioned earlier I've pushed myself harder than I've ever pushed myself in my life. And it's been paying off - I tell myself every evening "want it more than you're scared of it". Some days are rough, and it's so incredibly difficult to motivate myself - but I look around and I am inspired by every single one of my friends. They all work so hard and will always put a smile on my face.
See you all on the flip side starting 3X!
Jen
I am writing this post from an amazing villa in St. Maarten - on my first day where I can actually take a breath and relax (minus my 3:30 am wake up for my 8 am flight). I'm here with my mom and my good friend Jackie. It's been a long four months not seeing my mom so there were some tears when I saw her. She also surprised me with birthday cards from friends and family back home so that had sleep deprived me back into a sobbing mess.
I wrote my final on Tuesday and that was probably one of the hardest tests I've written on the island so far. Within one week we had our fourth mini, a practical exam and our final. That week was honestly the hardest I've worked in my student career thus far. I knew going into this semester that physiology was not my strongest subject and I needed to work a little harder to get the material... and even harder once the semester was coming to an end because I could feel myself getting burnt out. That week leading up to the final were some of the longest, most frustrating days I've experienced as a student.
While I'm going through this I would check my Timehop app (it's my morning routine) and I realized I began MERP a year ago. Reflecting back on how stressed I was I realized how far I've come both academically and mentally over the past year.
Two days later...
Alright I've been slacking on this post but I WILL FINISH IT NOW
Our MPeL and MPS was released today so I can officially announce that I am a M2 student!!!
*cue the largest sigh of relief*
Starting September I will be a 3X student and I will be the Prime Minister of the Canadian Club on campus - I'm doing a little happy dance right now.
As I mentioned earlier I've pushed myself harder than I've ever pushed myself in my life. And it's been paying off - I tell myself every evening "want it more than you're scared of it". Some days are rough, and it's so incredibly difficult to motivate myself - but I look around and I am inspired by every single one of my friends. They all work so hard and will always put a smile on my face.
See you all on the flip side starting 3X!
Jen
Sunday, 17 July 2016
Finding Dory in Dominica
Hello friends!
Just writing to you after my first weekend off since coming to the island! We just finished our Neurology block - we had our practical exam on Wednesday and our Mini on Friday. I think I can speak for my whole class in saying that we've been waiting for this weekend since first semester. Even though we had no classes this week it was a tough week. I find neuro very interesting but there was so much information to try and cram into our heads. After this semester I'm 100% certain we deserved this weekend off (even though it went by in the blink of an eye).
Second semester has been tough I'm not going to lie. I'm not very strong in Physiology and this is a very Physiology dense semester. I've been working my butt of to try and grasp this information as much as I possibly can (along with trying to figure out how to get more hours in my day - if anyone has an answer please let me know).
This weekend was so relaxing - but we also had a lot of fun! On Friday night we went to a Paediatrics Student Auction where my friends and I were auctioned off for 2400 EC - approximately 860 USD. We were so excited that we were able to raise that much money for a child on the island to have a heart surgery.
On Saturday we spent the afternoon Snorkelling in Cabrits National Park. It was a nice boat ride - three hours and two different reefs. The water was so blue, clear and stunning - one thing that I love so much about the island. I'd never been snorkelling before so I was so excited to finally go and cross that off my bucket list.
Today I had a nice sleep in and a brunch at my favourite breakfast place called Aunty Graces. A group of us then went to a lazy river past the airport and just enjoyed nature - admiring our Jurassic Park Island.
I still sit here in total awe of where I am studying medicine. Not only am I living out my dream of becoming a doctor but I also get to do it on a stunning island. As I've mentioned before it can be frustrating because it's not like home and we don't have the same things readily available but the island itself is so beautiful. It's very easy to get caught up in the little bubble surrounding campus and you don't even realize it but it wears you out. It's always go-go-go around here and you don't ever get much time to just relax and not do anything.
I know I surely needed this weekend to pull everything back together and regain some mental sanity. These next four weeks are going to be long and difficult but I need to keep pushing through. I always tell you guys I keep it totally honest here and I'm going to keep it that way. I'm mentally exhausted and I'm nervous for the next two blocks we have, Endocrine and Reproductive Systems. I haven't had too much exposure to either so it's going to be a larger learning curve for me. All we can really do is keep moving forward and stay positive.
Jen
Just writing to you after my first weekend off since coming to the island! We just finished our Neurology block - we had our practical exam on Wednesday and our Mini on Friday. I think I can speak for my whole class in saying that we've been waiting for this weekend since first semester. Even though we had no classes this week it was a tough week. I find neuro very interesting but there was so much information to try and cram into our heads. After this semester I'm 100% certain we deserved this weekend off (even though it went by in the blink of an eye).
Second semester has been tough I'm not going to lie. I'm not very strong in Physiology and this is a very Physiology dense semester. I've been working my butt of to try and grasp this information as much as I possibly can (along with trying to figure out how to get more hours in my day - if anyone has an answer please let me know).
This weekend was so relaxing - but we also had a lot of fun! On Friday night we went to a Paediatrics Student Auction where my friends and I were auctioned off for 2400 EC - approximately 860 USD. We were so excited that we were able to raise that much money for a child on the island to have a heart surgery.
On Saturday we spent the afternoon Snorkelling in Cabrits National Park. It was a nice boat ride - three hours and two different reefs. The water was so blue, clear and stunning - one thing that I love so much about the island. I'd never been snorkelling before so I was so excited to finally go and cross that off my bucket list.
Today I had a nice sleep in and a brunch at my favourite breakfast place called Aunty Graces. A group of us then went to a lazy river past the airport and just enjoyed nature - admiring our Jurassic Park Island.
I still sit here in total awe of where I am studying medicine. Not only am I living out my dream of becoming a doctor but I also get to do it on a stunning island. As I've mentioned before it can be frustrating because it's not like home and we don't have the same things readily available but the island itself is so beautiful. It's very easy to get caught up in the little bubble surrounding campus and you don't even realize it but it wears you out. It's always go-go-go around here and you don't ever get much time to just relax and not do anything.
I know I surely needed this weekend to pull everything back together and regain some mental sanity. These next four weeks are going to be long and difficult but I need to keep pushing through. I always tell you guys I keep it totally honest here and I'm going to keep it that way. I'm mentally exhausted and I'm nervous for the next two blocks we have, Endocrine and Reproductive Systems. I haven't had too much exposure to either so it's going to be a larger learning curve for me. All we can really do is keep moving forward and stay positive.
Jen
Snorkelling
The Upper Deck
Food my parents sent
Sunsets
Study Day
Snorkelling
Snorkelling
Snorkelling
Snorkelling
Tubing
Friday, 3 June 2016
Hometown Family To Island Family
I recently got a question; "how do you handle being so far away from home, away from friends and family, on an island by yourself with only being able to study?"
I know I had this question before I came down to Dominica and it really festered in my mind, kept me up at night, and made me really worry. I was fortunate enough to know the other students in my MERP Canada class so that calmed some of my nerves but I was still nervous.
"All my friends are at home, I only know 10 people, my family is nowhere near, I can't go home on weekends like in undergrad" ... all these thoughts (and more) passed through my mind night after night as the big departure date was coming.
My mom came down with me and stayed for two weeks, and dad was able to come for the second week my mom was here - I couldn't have been happier to have them here as I settled in to a new country. But let me tell you - the night they were leaving I bawled my little eyes out. I was so upset. They were my last bit of home left on this island - and they were going BACK home. I was devastated - but with the pace of the material here you need to keep on track and trudge forward.
As the semester continued on and days were spent in a classroom or library time flew by and many new friendships were made. The best thing about being down in Dominica is that everybody is dealing with the same things you are. We have the same classes, same professors, same amount of work we need to do and most importantly we're all far away from home.
And you bond over that. You find your tribe, as I like to call my friends, because they are there day in and day out like a family. My island family has been with me through just about every type of emotion you can think of. When things get tough we band together and support one another.
I know for a fact there is no way I would have gotten through first semester on my own and I can thank each and every classmate for putting a smile on my face at one point in time last semester and this semester. My heart is so full with the love I have for my friends here.
I honestly didn't know how things would be down on the island.
Are the students going to be cut throat?
Are the upper semesters going to be intimidating?
The answer to both questions is no. I've never met a group of more supportive and encouraging group of students.
Do I still get homesick and wish I was with my family? Absolutely, there are good days and there are bad - but I've always got my second family here in Dominica and they mean the world to me.
Jen
I know I had this question before I came down to Dominica and it really festered in my mind, kept me up at night, and made me really worry. I was fortunate enough to know the other students in my MERP Canada class so that calmed some of my nerves but I was still nervous.
"All my friends are at home, I only know 10 people, my family is nowhere near, I can't go home on weekends like in undergrad" ... all these thoughts (and more) passed through my mind night after night as the big departure date was coming.
My mom came down with me and stayed for two weeks, and dad was able to come for the second week my mom was here - I couldn't have been happier to have them here as I settled in to a new country. But let me tell you - the night they were leaving I bawled my little eyes out. I was so upset. They were my last bit of home left on this island - and they were going BACK home. I was devastated - but with the pace of the material here you need to keep on track and trudge forward.
As the semester continued on and days were spent in a classroom or library time flew by and many new friendships were made. The best thing about being down in Dominica is that everybody is dealing with the same things you are. We have the same classes, same professors, same amount of work we need to do and most importantly we're all far away from home.
And you bond over that. You find your tribe, as I like to call my friends, because they are there day in and day out like a family. My island family has been with me through just about every type of emotion you can think of. When things get tough we band together and support one another.
I know for a fact there is no way I would have gotten through first semester on my own and I can thank each and every classmate for putting a smile on my face at one point in time last semester and this semester. My heart is so full with the love I have for my friends here.
I honestly didn't know how things would be down on the island.
Are the students going to be cut throat?
Are the upper semesters going to be intimidating?
The answer to both questions is no. I've never met a group of more supportive and encouraging group of students.
Do I still get homesick and wish I was with my family? Absolutely, there are good days and there are bad - but I've always got my second family here in Dominica and they mean the world to me.
Jen
Monday, 11 April 2016
Just Go For It.
Hello friends!
I'm writing this after my last mini of semester one of medical school (I still feel weird when I say I'm in medical school)! It's been a long (yet somewhat short) ride but I'm in the final stretch.
I've had this thought brewing in my mind for the past week and I thought I would share it with you all. I remember when I was applying to University thinking to myself "I wonder if I've done all I can to prepare for this?" - and that same thought crossed my mind before I came down to start my medical school journey. Since that thought crossed my mind for a second time, and many times throughout this semester, I've realized that there are some things you cannot completely prepare for.
Yes, you can take pre-requisite courses and read every self help book and blog that people have written but until you've experienced the experience yourself you don't know how you're going to react. I thought I had mentally prepared for medical school and the amount of work we were going to have to go through, "I went to MERP, that was a great stepping stone, I'm so set for this!"
I was partially correct. Yes, MERP did help with my organization, note taking skills, study product skills, test taking skills ect ect. but unless you've gone to medical school you don't know what medical school is like.
You don't know how you will feel after sitting in class for four hours and then going directly to the library to re-learn the material until you go to sleep and then repeat that the next day.
You don't know how you will handle loads of information coming your way, some of it you pick up quickly, some it takes more time. And then balancing what you're learning and what you need to review in order to prepare for up coming exams.
I think the best way to approach medical school, or anything you haven't been exposed to before, is with humility and an open mind. You will never be the only person sitting in the library thinking "How the heck am I going to do this?!" - EVERYONE is thinking it. Everyone has topics they are stronger in - whether it's because they did their undergrad/masters in that field or just out of pure interest in certain subject areas.
Use your classmates and friends for help. We're all going through it together. I could talk someones ear off about biomechanics of movement or the gait cycle or the limbs... but talk to me about biochemistry and that conversation won't last long. I never really used my friends to help me understand concepts in undergrad and I really wish I would have just sucked up the fact that I can't know everything and asked for help. It's very easy to earn points on an exam if you just ask your friend if you understand a concept correctly.
We're all going through it together, and we will all do it together.
My friend group has become my family, and family sticks together through good times and bad.
So lets go rock our last week of first semester!
Jen
Friday, 18 December 2015
The First of Many Lasts
Hey guys,
Today marks one of the many lasts I have before I embark on my journey to medical school in Dominica.
My last day of work...
Call me crazy but I wished this day would never come. Starting back in June I never imagined how much of an impact the people who make up this amazing sports clinic would have on me. I started this job with a hope of working my butt off for the summer to make some money and then calling it quits before I started MERP. Soon that turned into me looking forward to going to work every day, then me saying I'll work weekends while in school, then me pushing my end date as late as possible to me crying on my last day.
I've been told that you're very lucky if you get along with the people you work with let alone have them make such a dramatic impact on you. I've been so very fortunate to work with 18 phenomenal human beings who have showed me more kindness and understanding than I could ever dream of.
From the Doctors who are the kindest and most generous people I've met. They put up with my many questions and clarifications with the biggest smiles on their faces. I can only hope to be half the doctors you are once I get my MD. I look forward to being your colleagues one day in the future.
To the physiotherapists, Rick, Andrew, Karen, Jessi and Susan. For all of the booking shenanigans I have put you guys through you always deal with my frantic questions and patient inquires with a breeze. You're all some of the funniest and knowledgeable people I've met. I know I could trust all of you to take amazing care of me if I ever needed it - you're some of the finest physios in the field and I am honoured to have met all of you.
To the amazing massage therapists, Louise and David. You two are more amazing than words can explain. Two of the greatest massage therapists I've met in my life. I can say you two do your job with so much ease and with an extreme amount of skill - if I could bring you both in my suitcase to give me massages through medical school I would.
To the beautiful chiropractors, Pamela and Christina. The both of you take being a chiropractor to a whole new level. Your kind hearts and high level of knowledge make you impossible to dislike. You both put so much dedication into you work and it's very admirable. I only hope that when I become a doctor my clients will think of me the same way your clients think of you.
And last but not least to the rock of this whole clinic, Shelly. If you've met this beautiful human you would know what I'm talking about. Words cannot describe how thankful I am to have you as my boss. You've been more than just a manager to me. You've been a support system. Not only within my work life but within my academic life. I know I can always turn to you and you will always have a kind, supportive word for me to help pick me up. From day one you've made me feel a part of your Beaches family. I know whenever I come back I can come back to my work family and you will all welcome me with open arms. It takes a special person to be the kind of manager you are... you're irreplaceable.
Thank you all for an amazing seven months. You will all see me back in the clinic whenever I'm back in the city!
Jen
Today marks one of the many lasts I have before I embark on my journey to medical school in Dominica.
My last day of work...
Call me crazy but I wished this day would never come. Starting back in June I never imagined how much of an impact the people who make up this amazing sports clinic would have on me. I started this job with a hope of working my butt off for the summer to make some money and then calling it quits before I started MERP. Soon that turned into me looking forward to going to work every day, then me saying I'll work weekends while in school, then me pushing my end date as late as possible to me crying on my last day.
I've been told that you're very lucky if you get along with the people you work with let alone have them make such a dramatic impact on you. I've been so very fortunate to work with 18 phenomenal human beings who have showed me more kindness and understanding than I could ever dream of.
From the Doctors who are the kindest and most generous people I've met. They put up with my many questions and clarifications with the biggest smiles on their faces. I can only hope to be half the doctors you are once I get my MD. I look forward to being your colleagues one day in the future.
To the physiotherapists, Rick, Andrew, Karen, Jessi and Susan. For all of the booking shenanigans I have put you guys through you always deal with my frantic questions and patient inquires with a breeze. You're all some of the funniest and knowledgeable people I've met. I know I could trust all of you to take amazing care of me if I ever needed it - you're some of the finest physios in the field and I am honoured to have met all of you.
To the amazing massage therapists, Louise and David. You two are more amazing than words can explain. Two of the greatest massage therapists I've met in my life. I can say you two do your job with so much ease and with an extreme amount of skill - if I could bring you both in my suitcase to give me massages through medical school I would.
To the beautiful chiropractors, Pamela and Christina. The both of you take being a chiropractor to a whole new level. Your kind hearts and high level of knowledge make you impossible to dislike. You both put so much dedication into you work and it's very admirable. I only hope that when I become a doctor my clients will think of me the same way your clients think of you.
And last but not least to the rock of this whole clinic, Shelly. If you've met this beautiful human you would know what I'm talking about. Words cannot describe how thankful I am to have you as my boss. You've been more than just a manager to me. You've been a support system. Not only within my work life but within my academic life. I know I can always turn to you and you will always have a kind, supportive word for me to help pick me up. From day one you've made me feel a part of your Beaches family. I know whenever I come back I can come back to my work family and you will all welcome me with open arms. It takes a special person to be the kind of manager you are... you're irreplaceable.
Thank you all for an amazing seven months. You will all see me back in the clinic whenever I'm back in the city!
Jen
Friday, 26 June 2015
You Get What You Give
Hello friends!
I've just finished up my fourth week at the clinic and I couldn't be happier with the people I work with. They've inspired me so much that I've decided to write a blog post dedicated to them.
I've always kind of thought that the energy you put out in the world you get back. I say "kind of" because I thought it but I wasn't totally convinced. I've seen examples of it and have experienced it myself but have never been immersed in it.
At my job I am the new employee, fresh out of undergrad, nervous as ever about her first big girl job. Ever since I first stepped foot in the clinic I have felt very welcome and supported by every other physiotherapist, chiropractor, sports med doctor, massage therapist and other admin.
From always shouting a warm welcome as I come in (or they come in) to asking how the adjustment to the new job is going or offering free treatment to me. I've always felt so welcome into their little clinic family and for that I am forever grateful.
I'd like to pass that message on out to the public (or people reading this) that no matter how crappy of a day you're having you should ALWAYS try to put positivity and happiness out into the universe.
It'll come back to help ya!
- Jen
I've just finished up my fourth week at the clinic and I couldn't be happier with the people I work with. They've inspired me so much that I've decided to write a blog post dedicated to them.
I've always kind of thought that the energy you put out in the world you get back. I say "kind of" because I thought it but I wasn't totally convinced. I've seen examples of it and have experienced it myself but have never been immersed in it.
At my job I am the new employee, fresh out of undergrad, nervous as ever about her first big girl job. Ever since I first stepped foot in the clinic I have felt very welcome and supported by every other physiotherapist, chiropractor, sports med doctor, massage therapist and other admin.
From always shouting a warm welcome as I come in (or they come in) to asking how the adjustment to the new job is going or offering free treatment to me. I've always felt so welcome into their little clinic family and for that I am forever grateful.
I'd like to pass that message on out to the public (or people reading this) that no matter how crappy of a day you're having you should ALWAYS try to put positivity and happiness out into the universe.
It'll come back to help ya!
- Jen
Thursday, 23 October 2014
Catch Up
As everyone else is aware the semester is in full swing of things. I've been barely keeping my head above water as I try to study for midterms and work on assignments. You don't want to know how much caffeine I have consumed the past few weeks.
BUT I am not going to sit here and type a post about how stressed I am about school and applications because I'd basically be preaching to the choir and telling you all things I'm sure you are fully aware of.
Instead, I am going to talk about my volunteering at UW-Well Fit. I work with cancer patients and assist them while they work out, along with being there to talk about any of their concerns.
Recently I've been working with one special woman. She's mid 40's, had a double mastectomy and is currently receiving radiation. From her radiation she's been getting second degree burns down the side of her torso along with losing her hair from chemo. She's very self conscious about it, she's told me multiple times that when she was going through chemotherapy she would never look at herself in the mirror. Even now, when she comes to work out, she will never show up without her wig on. Even though it makes her very hot and is very itchy.
Despite that she is the kindest and funniest woman I have ever met. Throughout her workout she has me laughing and smiling for the full 60 minutes. She always has the biggest smile on her face and never lets radiation appointments bring down her mood.
Just felt like I had to write a little something about her because she is one amazing woman.
- Jen
Recently I've been working with one special woman. She's mid 40's, had a double mastectomy and is currently receiving radiation. From her radiation she's been getting second degree burns down the side of her torso along with losing her hair from chemo. She's very self conscious about it, she's told me multiple times that when she was going through chemotherapy she would never look at herself in the mirror. Even now, when she comes to work out, she will never show up without her wig on. Even though it makes her very hot and is very itchy.
Despite that she is the kindest and funniest woman I have ever met. Throughout her workout she has me laughing and smiling for the full 60 minutes. She always has the biggest smile on her face and never lets radiation appointments bring down her mood.
Just felt like I had to write a little something about her because she is one amazing woman.
- Jen
Saturday, 4 October 2014
My Friends
I was in the middle of writing cue cards for one of my classes and I came to the realization that I need to write a post to all of my friends.
Over the past few years while I've been slaving away under miles of textbooks I've had the most supportive friends in the world. They all dealt with me being a pain in the butt while I studied trying to accomplish my goals.
They always leant me a shoulder to cry on when my stress levels got too high, an ear to listen when I got frustrated, and a load of positive, supportive energy to feed off of.
Over the past few weeks, as I've been prepping my applications, the amount of messages I have gotten from my friends has been overwhelming. All saying that my hard work has paid off and they knew I could do it. They've all brought me to tears.
I'd like to say to my friends... this your accomplishment as much as it is mine. You're all heaven sent, and the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I wouldn't be where I am without all of you. I hope all of your dreams come true because all of you are phenomenal human beings.
Lots of love,
Jen xo
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