IMF

Friends!

I had been planning on blogging once I settled in here but that hasn't happened yet. It's a VERY DIFFERENT busy than studying for boards. I feel like I'm constantly on the move and quite honestly I've been finding it difficult to get into a rhythm. I'm normally the kind of person who can get into a schedule pretty quickly but with our continuously changing schedule that's been pretty tough for me here.

Basically my week looks like 2 days in the clinic interviewing and doing physical exams on patients, 2 days on campus for simulations, OSCES, and skills labs and one day of lectures. This past weekend we were trained in ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) and BLS (basic life support) and this coming weekend we have PALS (Pediatric advanced life support).

I have also found out where I am doing my core rotations...

...and...

I'LL BE IN NEW YORK!

I was hoping to not have to deal with another winter (I am not a fan) BUT I am excited to be close to home again and be able to experience the city! I'll be starting my cores with Family Medicine so I am a little nervous since I've been told that's the most difficult shelf exam but I'm trying to keep an open mind.

Although starting in the hospitals means beginning a brand new learning curve, I am excited to begin and do what every medical student went into medicine for - to help patients.

With beginning a brand new part of my medical school journey the dreaded imposter syndrome has been sneaking up on me again - wondering if I'm actually good enough for this, whether medicine is right for me, am I even smart enough to be going into clinicals?

I'd be lying if I wrote to all of you that I have no fears going into core rotations. I am just as nervous as I was when I was leaving to go to Dominica. But there was one important thing I learned from all of those tears I cried before I went to medical school on an island...

Any time you feel the most uncomfortable and the most nervous you're about to have the most personal growth.

Looking back I was SO SCARED to go to medical school in Dominica but I can say with 100% certainty I would not be even close to the person I am today without all of the experiences I had on the island.

- Jen

MS3

Friends!

Long time no post!!! I've been waiting to post and finally share that I have closed the door on MS2 and am moving forward to MS3!

I think this is the year that all medical students dream about. Finally getting into the hospital, being done with Step One, interacting with real patients with real problems and really diving into medicine.

Since writing Step I've been running around trying to get my life organized and finish all of my pre hospital health check ups along with organizing my life into two suitcases before I head off to IMF.

I've slowly been updating my professional attire since, let's be real, I've been living in leggings and tank tops for the past year.

What is IMF you may be wondering? Well my school has a six week program called the Internal Medicine Foundations that we must complete before starting our core rotations. The simplest explanation is it's a pre-clinical bootcamp... we get to work on and perfect our patient encounters, practical skills (scrubbing in, IV lines, physical exams), SOAP (Subjective, Objective, Assessment, Plan) notes and History and Physical Exam notes. Even though I haven't started yet, I am very thankful that my school has this since it allows us to brush up our skills before we're in the hospital on our rotations (I know my first few interviews/physical exams aren't going to be the smoothest).

After six weeks of IMF we begin our core rotations (one year) which consist of Family Medicine, Surgery, Internal Medicine, Ob/Gyn, Pediatrics and Psychiatry.

Also, I've been looking at all of the different resources available for core rotations and it's been VERY overwhelming!

I'm planning on keeping you all updated throughout this part of my medical journey as well - what resources I've used and my experiences along the way. If there's anything in particular you want me to write about please let me know.

AND THANK YOU, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, for joining me on this journey.

- Jen

An Open Letter To My Friends & Family

For those of you who are friends or family this letter is for you,

I wanted to say thank you for trying to understand what I've been going through while in medical school. I know it's kind of complex and I tend to have to explain the journey multiple times but don't apologize for asking me to explain it to you 'one more time'. It's tough to follow! Sometimes I don't even know the answers to your questions and I have to look them up myself.

I know I've been here, but not really here. Home, but not really home. Textbooks and question banks have taken over my life. I used to be so great at responding to text messages and remembering special events but all of those have been slipping my mind. Trust me, when I do remember them I feel HORRIBLE about forgetting about them on their proper day.

Thankfully, every time I do pop up from my little study hole and apologize for taking ages to respond you always understand and tell me not to worry. You don't even realize how much that means to me.

I can't even describe how much I wish I could go to all of the birthday parties, get togethers and events but studying has consumed my life right now.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD FOR ME.

I made the decision to go into medical school and go through the rigorous training to become a Doctor. I knew there would be some social sacrifices that would come along with it. I fully accept that - but because of that little internal "Doctor" instinct of wanting to be there for everyone, I know I have to be selfish.

I guess a part of me wants to apologize for putting you through this too - because we are going on this journey together.

You help keep my sanity. You help when I'm stressed. You help when I've had a horrible study day. You help to lighten my mood when a test is coming up. You remind me that I am supposed to be here. You tell me I will be a great Doctor one day.


Even though you attribute this to "just being a good friend" know to me it means so much more than that. I wouldn't be where I am today without you so any of my wins are just as much yours.

Thank you for joining me on this wild ride. I promise to keep the good stories coming,

Jen

Type A or B?

Hi Friends!

I'm writing this post because I've been having many conversations about this topic over the past few weeks and I honestly find it pretty interesting.

I'm sure you've all heard about Type A and Type B personalities - but what do they really mean?

I just typed them into google and this fun little quiz came up to see what personality type you are

What Personality Type are you?

As medical students I think we all have a part of Type A personality in us, some more than others, but what does that really mean?

Other than the obvious personality traits a Type A person is described as impatient, concerned about time management, anxious, rigidly organized, workaholics... the list goes on. What else does Type A mean?

There have been several studies published that show that people who have Type A Personality are more likely to have early CAD (coronary artery disease), high blood pressure and are at an increased risk of stroke. As someone who is trying to be in the medical field and who's job it is to advocate healthy choices and decisions, I believe it's pretty ironic that we could be the patients who have very preventable health issues.

Then what do we do to prevent this? I'm going to be honest I'm still trying to figure it out for myself because my personality heavily sits on the Type A side but I think it just all comes down to having an outlet.

Whether that means drawing, working out, dancing, singing, going in nature, playing with animals (favourite by far), reading, watching your favourite TV show - we need to integrate something into our schedule that can help relieve some of our stress.

For example, I'm gonna use myself here, my first round of studying at home I just studied day in and day out. No breaks. Nothing fun. No days off. And I noticed that my energy levels were SO LOW. It was so hard to get out of bed in the morning - so difficult to get motivated and tough to even learn new information. I decided something had to change so I started integrating in work out breaks, dance parties, study space changes and little did you know my productivity levels increased and even though I was waking up an hour earlier (some days even more) than I did before I had a heck of a lot more energy. I gave myself one day off a week and to my surprise even though I was working one less day a week (shame, shame, shame) the other six days I was working I was able to get so much more done and I was able to retain a lot more.

Figuring out a schedule that works for you can be a pain but once you figure out what works best for your body I promise your studying will feel totally different.

- Jen

Motivation

Hey friends!

I am back for another post! Quick turn around I know. I've surprised myself too.

I've been asked this question and I've seen this question floating around the internet for the longest time now and I figured - WHY NOT SHARE MY TWO CENTS ON MY BLOG!

The question on everyone's mind every hour of every.single.day. "How do I stay motivated?"

Thinking about it - that's a pretty darn good question that quite honestly I don't think I even have the answer to. Do you want to know why?

I don't rely on motivation.

I can already imagine what is going through your mind right now... what do you mean you don't rely on motivation? Are you crazy? What planet do you live on? How did you make it through two years of med school not relying on motivation?

My answer to you is simple. I rely on dedication.

If we were to only look at the definition of the two words:

"Motivation: Desire or willingness to do something; enthusiasm."

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/motivation

"Dedication: If you say that someone has dedicated themselves to something, you approve of the fact that they have decided to give a lot of time and effort to it because they think that it is important."

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/dedicate

Based on my understanding and interpretation of these definitions, motivation comes and goes while dedication is more permanent. So why would I rely on something that changes based on the day?

Do I wake up every single morning fully motivated to study and learn as much as I can? Honestly no. Some days I wake up and I just soak up all of the information I am reading that day. Other days I wake up and I'm lucky if I make it through one chapter.

On those hard days where my motivation is a big fat zero am I still fully dedicated to become a doctor? Heck yeah I am! That will always be the dream even if I am having a very non-motivational day.

I've found now that I've been attempting to change my mindset from relying on motivation to relying on my dedication I haven't been getting as frustrated with myself on those days my motivation has been a little low.

Show up. Every day. Be dedicated to your goal. Motivation will come and go. Stay true to your course.

- Jen

Imposter Syndrome

Hi Friends!

I write this blog post on a slow morning - as I sit here and it's past 11 and I still haven't finished my first cup of coffee.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting about undergrad and medical school these past few days and I wanted to share with you the basis of my thoughts - and Imposter Syndrome basically sums it up.

The first time I heard this term I was in PSYCH 100 in undergrad - winter semester of my first year of undergrad. Back then it was more or less a definition I had to memorize for one of my midterms and nothing more. Now it's definition has a lot more meaning in my life.

For those of you who are wondering what I'm talking about:

"According to Joan Harvey, the impostor phenomenon (IP) is a “psychological syndrome or pattern. It is based on intense, secret feelings of fraudulence in the face of success and achievement. If you suffer from the impostor phenomenon, you believe that you don’t deserve your success; you’re a phony who has somehow ‘gotten away with it.’” (Harvey, 1984, p. 3). “Syndrome” may be too strong a term, but many of us experience these feelings with varying strengths and frequencies."

https://uwaterloo.ca/centre-for-teaching-excellence/teaching-resources/teaching-tips/planning-courses/tips-teaching-assistants/impostor-phenomenon-and

I think that website from Waterloo sums it up pretty well!

But that's basically what every medical student deals with at one point in time.

I think about all the times my friends and I talk about medical school and making it off the island and I can never forget how I explain myself getting through medical school "under the radar - letting me slip through the cracks and hoping they don't find me". If that's not textbook Imposter Syndrome I don't know what is.

As I've mentioned before - as medical students we're PHENOMENAL at bringing up our classmates and believing in them but we always fail at believing in ourselves.

The amount of times I've found myself telling my friends or thinking, "If only you believed in yourself as much as I believe in you". For whatever reason I, and I'm sure many other students, cannot transfer those feelings to myself.

I've been struggling to find a way to fight those imposter feelings - that website I posted up above has some ideas that I'm going to try to implement into my daily life.

I am sure I'm not the only student who has been experiencing this so I'm opening up about them on my blog hoping to maybe kick start a conversation about this and maybe share some ideas about how to fight Imposter Syndrome.

- Jen

It Takes a Village

Hi my friends!

Just thought I'd do a little update and share some wisdom I've learned over the past few months.

So for those of you who have been reading my blogs or looking at my social media this may be redundant, but for any new faces around here I've been going through the hardest four months of my life. I've been studying for boards, my grandmother passed away suddenly and my father was diagnosed with cancer... again.

I didn't come on here to write some sob story about how difficult my life is right now hoping whoever reads this feels sorry for me.

I came on here to talk about getting through this journey we call medical school and life. Medical school is hard enough as it is but add life into the mix and you have a whole new ball game. It's tiring mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically - it's a lot. Not only being in medical school is hard but getting into medical school is tough too.

I know there is no magic formula that anyone can tell you that will guarantee that you will get into medical school. BUT I do know one thing that will make you last through your pre med and medical years.

A support system.

I don't want to admit the amount of times I've messaged my friends over the past 2 years saying "That's it I'm done. I don't think I can do this". From my undergrad, to MERP to the island to now.

You know who has brought me back up every one of those times? My friends and family.

I've found that my friends in medical school and from back home has been so very helpful to me in so many different ways. Everyone in medical school is going through the same experiences. They can relate to the obstacles that I'm going through right now. Compared to my friends who are not in medical school, they always show me how to look at my situation from a different perspective. Ways I'd never look at these issues before.

I know it is so easy to lock yourself up in your room and study your life away because your stress levels are so high (I've been there and done that). After a while that gets lonely and isolating and you start to feel disconnected from the world.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is if you're frustrated or having a bad day you should never feel bad messaging a friend or family member to talk about it. I know that is the only way I've gotten to this point in one piece.

I've utilized my friends and family more days than not during my schooling and they always help. Whether it's a new perspective, a calming influence, a "I feel you man" or one medical students are VERY GOOD at doing for others but not themselves - giving you confidence.

No one goes through this journey alone. Behind every successful doctor and student is a village of people who have supported them and helped them get there.

- Jen