The Last Hoorah

My internet family!

I just found out today I have passed the island portion of my lifelong journey of medicine. I had to recheck multiple times before I would actually believe it... BUT I DID IT!

I want to start this off by sending a huge congratulations to all of my classmates who went through this amazing journey with me. You all did it and you should be so proud of your accomplishments! I can't wait to rotate in hospitals with you.

I thought since I've been on the island for 16 months I'd give you guys 16 things I've learned while on island:

1. How to live without running (clean) water and other luxuries of home
I remember my first week on island, I was so shell shocked about being here. Dominica was nothing like home. You didn't have a Wal-Mart down the street or grocery stores on every corner. It was a developing country. I didn't know what to expect when I left my sweet comfort zone I called home but when I got to Dominica I realized what I was in for. At first it was weird filling up your water at a filling station but over time you got used to it. You got used to the low water pressure at certain times of the day and just worked your way around it (I am now a morning shower person), or when you turned your tap on that one time late at night and nothing came out. Since then I always have an extra water bottle for brushing my teeth.

2. 8 straight hours of sleep is a luxury
At home I'm used to sleeping in relatively quiet areas, aka the suburbs, so coming to Dominica and hearing bugs all night, and waves, and motorcycles was something to get used to INITIALLY. Then the semester starts... and all of a sudden you notice yourself telling yourself "one more hour... I'll be okay". Then you start calculating how long you'll be asleep if you fall asleep RIGHT NOW.

3. Simple things become difficult
I find this point partially embarrassing but it's true. I have lost the ability to do some simple tasks or utilize the English language. The amount of times I've tried to order something on campus and I stand there pointing to food at a total loss of what this item is actually called. It ALWAYS happens to me with pepper jack cheese. Recently I've been leaving the tap running and walking away...

4. Dominica is NOT the Dominican Republic
I confused this the first few months after I applied

5. There is a reason people in the Caribbean leave the Caribbean in the summer
It gets HOT here in the summer. I mean your skin feels like it's melting off hot. For our summer semester I would leave my house an hour earlier in the morning and an hour later at night to make sure I didn't melt. I would also take multiple showers a day and drink loads of water and STILL managed to get dehydrated.

6. No amount of coffee is enough coffee
If you know me you know this is a life motto of mine. It does get scary though when you drink a lot of coffee/energy drinks/caffeine pills and you still yawn as if you've never slept before. I've been working on keeping my caffeine levels low unless a mini or final is coming up and I 150% recommend doing that.

7. When it rains it pours
I mean that literally. Don't EVER leave your umbrella at home. It could look like a nice innocent sunny day, but I promise you as soon as you leave your house the weather gods sense you left the umbrella at home and they will make it pour... for the rest of the day.

8. Don't forget sunscreen
Again you may think "I'll be outside for less than an hour in the middle of the day I'll be good!" WRONG. If you are fair skinned like me trust me you will burn, and you will peel and it will be the most uncomfortable burn of your life. The sun down here is strong.

9. Nothing is better than a sunrise or sunset
If you've looked at my Instagram you will see MANY sunsets, and if you go through my phone you will find countless more. There's something about watching the sun set and hearing the waves hitting the beach that can make any amount of stress go away (even if it's for just a minute).

10. Island time is a real thing
Your landlord tells you 10:30, or laundry is supposed to arrive at 9... add on about 30 mins (on a good day) and that's the approximate time that your appointment will actually happen. At first this is kind of odd to get used to but by the end of the first or second month it's just the normal.

11. Not doing anything is a very guilty feeling
You will see after about a month into medical school, you're always doing something. Organizing notes, scarfing food down, writing notes, watching lecture, walking somewhere, going to lab, working on clinical skills... it's always go, go, go and all you want to do is to sit and relax. When you do get that day to sit and do nothing you feel guilty and weird... like you should be doing something. Every time I go home my parents always tell me to sit and chill SORRY NOT IN MY VOCABULARY ANYMORE.

12. Missing family events suck
Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Easter, Canada Day, Fourth of July... never gets easier. I always get the FaceTime call in followed by the "woah you look tired"... thanks guys... and being shown the yummy food and just being with the extended family.

13. Being homesick happens... often
You're so busy while you're on the island and you have barely any time to think about anything other than school and what you're doing tomorrow for class. But when you do sit down and think (especially if you stayed on island between semesters) you really start to miss your concrete jungles back home. Remember that traffic you used to despise? You kind of miss sitting in it. Those obnoxious honks from cars speeding by? You miss it. Starbucks... you miss it... a lot.

14. Missing food you never missed is normal
When I lived back at home did I ever crave any type of fast food? NEVER! A salad? NO WAY! On island... every day. Being in a smaller town is great because you don't have many distractions but it also means you see the same restaurants every day. When you first come on island that Chinese place down the street may be the best! Two months in you never want to see chicken fried rice ever again.

15. Your family may be far away but your friends will fill that void
This runs closely with lesson 12... even though you miss family events with your family back home you get to spend them with what I like to call them my "Island Tribe". What is also sad about this lesson is that you only get to spend these events with this island tribe on Dominica once. That's right one time. Unless you're lucky and you get your birthday on island two times. As difficult as it is to not be with your family for those special days - your island tribe will always come to save the day when you're feeling some serious home-sickness.

16. Self love is the best love
Medical school is tough stuff. It's no walk in the park and if someone says it is they're a liar. You have to push yourself harder than you've ever pushed yourself in your entire life. Sometimes it pays off. Sometimes it's as if you never studied. It happens to every single one of us. It's hard to realize at times but you didn't get here by chance. You worked your butt off and made sacrifices in your life to get here. It may not seem like its paying off now but in the long run it is. Never EVER give up hope on your dream. If you ever need a little pick me up always feel free to shoot a message my way.

Jen

I'm Still Going!

Hi friends!

I know it's been a while since my last post - I've been so busy with my classes and clinical simulations that I've kind of neglected my little blog! Alas I'm here to write a post.

I've been struggling a little bit with keeping the motivation high and remembering why I'm going through medical school. As I've been sitting here in my own self doubt and negativity I've been scrolling through twitter, Facebook and instagram and I noticed this seems to be an ongoing thing for a decent amount of medical students right now. I don't know if it's the time of the year... something in the air... but from Ross to the US to Canada I've been seeing students struggling with motivation.

Then on my morning social media scroll I read a tweet from an account I follow and it said " Making it into and out of medical school alive are two separate things... medical school is hard, even though you get used to how hard it is". That got me to thinking and doing a little bit of reflecting - and I know I've mentioned in a previous blog post that we all need to be our own best friend before anything else.

If you look at the type of person in medical school I think I can say we all have one thing (definitely) in common. We are our own harshest critic. We all think we should push harder, study longer, read more, learn more, score higher ect ect. Whereas to people outside of medical school, (I'm talking to you my friends from back home) everyone thinks we're some type of robot who never takes time off and studies 24/7. When you take a step back and look at it - they aren't wrong. We wake up, put in 12-14 hour study days go to sleep and do it again. At first yeah it was an adjustment, then you become used to the long days, the leg cramps, the coffee shakes, the eye twitches, the aggressive yawns.

But still it's hard work!!! And even though we are used to it and call this "normal" it doesn't mean it isn't easy. It takes a toll on you mentally and physically. No matter what part of this medical journey you're on you need to think about yourself and take care of yourself. It's so easy getting caught up in studying for exam after exam then boards. There is so much to know and not enough time to learn it all. It's stressful - I'll fully admit I haven't figured out a balance for myself. I normally don't realize I'm working myself to the ground until thoughts and facts are running through my mind like crazy.

I don't have a fool proof answer to fix the medical school burn out and the self doubt, but what I do know is that you're not on this journey by accident. And you're not the first person to struggle through medical school and you definitely won't be the last. This is a difficult field to be in - but the only way you'll be able to stay in the field is if you take care of yourself first.

I have a mini coming up on Thursday so this is a stressful week coming up for me, but I'm going to try to keep the motivation and positive attitude high... I hope you do too :)

- Jen

Hospital Visit Number One!

Hello!

I had a few people ask me about my experience at Princess Margaret Hospital this past week so I figured I'd do a whole post about it!

For those of you who may not know in 4X at Ross we do two hospital visits to the main hospital in Dominica - Princess Margaret Hospital. The hospital is located in the capital of Dominica Roseau - about an hour drive from where the school is.

For this visit I was in the Dialysis and Oncology units in the morning and then I did a mock OSCE in the afternoon.

For those who don't know what OSCE is - it's a clinical exam we take - Step 2 CS. For the real exam, we go through 20 rooms, each with a standardized patient, and we perform an interview and physical exam and then we have 10 minutes to write a SOAP note after each room. The standardized patient grades us along with doctors who watch the video recordings of us in the room. Ours was not as intense (it still was though don't get me wrong - I definitely had my adrenaline pumping) we had 3 rooms instead of 20. But essentially everything else was the same. Even though it was very stressful I'm happy we were given the opportunity to practice our skills and go though a mock Step 2 CS exam.

As for the hospital itself - it looks nothing like a hospital you would imagine back at home. It was essentially blocks with covered walkways connecting different wards together. So we first went to the dialysis unit where patients come on two different regimens for their treatment; Monday, Wednesday, Friday OR Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Since these patients have kidneys that are functioning at very low levels they need to come three times a week so the dialysis machines can filter their blood for them. We had the honour of meeting two patients who allowed us to talk to them and learn more about their back story and how they ended up on dialysis.

We met one pleasant woman who was from the same area as Ross who allowed us to palpate her fistula (the connection of a vein to an artery) and it was different than a normal pulse that's for sure - I'm not even sure how to describe it. I've never been in a dialysis unit or palpated a fistula so this was all very new and interesting to me.

Next we went to the Oncology ward - unfortunately it wasn't a very busy day but we had the amazing opportunity to speak with one of the doctors, Dr. Malakar, who actually helped to find the discipline of Oncology in the medical field. I personally gained a lot more insight into Oncology and how doctors manage patients with a large team.

My next visit is on February 14th (Happy Valentines Day to me) and I will be going into two specialities for the day which I am very excited about. I'm crossing my fingers hoping I'm able to go into the OR or go into the Orthopaedic ward.

Jen

One Year Can Change Everything

Hello my friends!

I'm currently sitting in a classroom learning about hypertension and all different vascular and heart disorders (I'm in my Cardio block) and I took a little study break and I saw that one year ago today I had my white coat ceremony. I can vividly remember the day... we had lectures that morning and then in the afternoon we got to sit through our white coat ceremony. I couldn't focus in class that day - this is a big day for any medical student - finally getting that short white coat with the hopes that one day it will become a long white coat. I remember looking around at all of my classmates and just seeing how happy and determined we all were.

Since then we've gone through three full semesters - now starting our fourth. It's been a long and bumpy road I tell you but all the while so worth it. Throughout this past year, and I can only speak for myself, there have been so many tears, frustrations, doubt, panic phone calls home, naps, patient encounters, skills developed, people met and mental strength that I don't think I can even put it into words. You really don't know what this takes until you fully immerse yourself in it.

Even still I find myself sitting here thinking, "Do I really deserve to be here?" and that thought is always followed by "JENNIFER YOU CAN'T FAKE YOURSELF THROUGH MEDICAL SCHOOL". And I think we all need to really realize that. You didn't just somehow stumble upon this path and somehow made it to this point in your journey by chance. You did it because you put in the hard work and dedication and carved your way here. Yes I said it...

YOU DID IT you smart human you!

So pat yourself on the back and give yourself a little credit, I know we are all our hardest critics, because you should be pretty darn proud of yourself for getting this far in your journey. Whether it be deciding you want to go into medicine, getting accepted into medical school, finishing your first...second...third...fourth...fifth semester, writing step one/comlex, doing rotations, getting that match, getting through residency or getting that ultimate final goal of being an attending. Hold your head high and smile because it takes a lot of hard work and you did it... not by luck or by some chance.

You did it because you worked your butt off and achieved it.

Jen

MERP C - we out!

Find your Tribe

Hey guys!

So I was asked a really good question and I thought it would give me a perfect opportunity to write a blog post.

"How do you keep going when people doubt you?"

I have a long and a short answer to this one...

In short - DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!

Now my longer response. Everyone I've spoken to has had their fair share of people who didn't believe in them or didn't think that they would be able to get to whatever their dream goal was. I can only speak from my own experience but I've had my own non-believers in my life. It's difficult when you are seeing any sort of academic advisors and they tell you to "quit" or "drop out" or "try again later". So negative... and such a bone breaking way to crush someones soul. Coming back from situations like that are very difficult. But it all boils down to your support system.

I've been so incredibly grateful that my friends and family have always stood behind my back 150%. Whether they be at home (hi Mom, Dad, Alex and Babcia!), on the other side of the country (hi Mary Anne!) or on the other side of the world (hi Susan!) I know I have people who have so much belief and faith in me that it just keeps me going.

But back to getting over that initial soul crushing moment - it's going to be hard... and it will never get easier when someone says you can't do something. Turn those emotions around and take all that sadness and all of those tears and fight. Do everything you can to prove that person wrong. So what if they don't think you can make it into medical school. Half of the time they may not really even know what it takes to get into medical school (other than your usual GPA and MCAT statistics). And find someone who does believe in you.

I've been so fortunate that my parents have always told me to follow my dreams and they will always be there for me. Internally that wasn't enough. I wanted someone from an academic standpoint to believe in me too. Fortunately I was able to find professors who believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. And I want to say thank you to them - for writing my letters of recommendation, letting me sit in your office to talk, welcoming me into your lab and for most importantly not putting any weight on my transcript and basing their opinion on me after knowing me as a person and as a student.

All in all - you will have people who will doubt you or criticize you on the way but take everything they say with a grain of salt and keep on pursuing your dreams.

- Jen

One Month Left

Hey guys!

It's been about a month since you've heard from me (sorry about that) but I've been a busy little medical student over here! We just had a very heavy, and very interesting, Heme and Lymph and MSK block and mini. Now we are in our GI block and then we have Reproductive and then third semester will be over!

I don't know about the rest of my class but I am starting to feel the burn of basically being in school for a year straight (including MERP). I think no matter how much you try to avoid it it will hit you at one point and from then on it's a pure endurance battle. Waking up in the morning is a little harder, easy concepts seem so much more difficult, going home seems painfully far away and stress levels keep rising.

It gets tough and nothing really ever prepares you for it. One of my good friends posted an article saying to go into medicine because you want to go into medicine, not because you have stellar grades or your parents want you to or you want to make money. None of that will get you through medical school. The only thing that will get you through will be your desire to become a doctor. This got me to thinking - what were my thoughts before I got into medical school. How did I interpret becoming a doctor and more importantly medical school?

So I started rummaging through my inbox with the hopes of finding my MD Essay.

Here's a little bit of that essay. I know it's helping me out right now to read it again and to realize all you need to do is fight.

"My road to fourth year has required significant focus and I have been faced with many different challenges along the way. The identity crisis in my very first semester, realizing that what I had envisioned myself studying was not actually what I wanted to do alarmed me tremendously. I found I struggled with identifying who I was. During my whole high school career it seemed obvious that I would study Mechanical Engineering. When I came to the realization that I had no passion for it, it made me extremely nervous and uncomfortable. What would I do without the identity I had developed over the past four years? I had to find something else to be passionate about and that I would enjoy studying that was not Robotics or Mechanical Engineering. With a lot of support from my friends and family I realized that all along I enjoyed the movement of objects, not necessarily robotic objects, but human movement.

After dealing with my identity crisis in first year and transferring into Kinesiology I was finally getting my feet on the ground and I began to feel like myself again. I loved my classes, and found that I was excited to learn again. Unfortunately, I received devastating news of the passing of a very close family member right before my finals in December 2012 - the first half of my second year. Even though I tried to put up a strong front, this death affected me. Not soon after, in September 2013, my grandfather passed away from cancer. I was very close to my grandfather and although he had been battling cancer for a number of years I was still shocked and heartbroken. In that same month my father had heart surgery, which also took a toll on my schooling. And regrettably my father required a second heart surgery in November 2013. I did all that I could to focus on my schoolwork. Ultimately maybe I should have let myself heal from all of those traumatic experiences, but my education is very important to me and I knew if I could get through all this I would emerge a stronger and better person.

Through the tough times I strived to keep a smile on my face and a positive outlook on life. Looking back at my life, I realized that if I didn’t go through the tough times I wouldn’t be who I am today. The tough times made me realize how beautiful life is and how one smile can make a massive impact on someone’s day.

If I could pinpoint a specific time that made my passion for medicine grow it would have to be during the year 2013 when I had multiple stressors in my life. That was when I came to the conclusion that there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to pursue a career in medicine. If I could alleviate someone’s pain, or brighten someone’s day and be lucky enough to call that my job I would never have to work a day in my life."

- Jen

My mom and grandma visited me today :)

I'm Still Kicking!

Hey friends!

I know it's been a while and I'm so sorry for taking FOREVER to write up a new post. Honestly I just haven't really had any inspiration to write. The last thing I want to do is to write up a blog post and have it not be genuine. I started this blog to just help out others the way I was helped throughout this whole medical school journey so the last thing I wanted was to be posting emotions I don't genuinely feel while I'm here. Today I got that inspiration back.

We had our very first community clinic today. For those of you who don't know what it is, we go out in small groups to different villages in Dominica and perform a medical history and physical exam on a REAL PATIENT. This is done all on our own (with our junior faculty watching us to make sure we are performing our skills correctly) but we run the whole interview and physical exam on a patient who is experiencing actual symptoms and are dealing with an actual disease.

A group of colleagues and I went to a village about 30 minutes from our town thinking we were going to see two patients in the clinic but once we arrived we quickly realized the clinic had actually planned two home visits for us. As nervous as I was I was kind of excited to see what a home visit was actually like. So, we had a quick drive over to our patients house and then it was my colleagues and my show. We were greeted by a very friendly gentleman who welcomed us into his home with open arms and was ready for us to learn and to use him as a learning tool. As I sat there and spoke to the patient I realized how lucky I am to have my health and to be aware of any health concerns I could face (i.e. caffeine withdrawal). This gentleman was speaking to my colleague and I about his condition and how at first he had no idea what any of his diagnoses meant. It took him several years before actually realizing that what he is suffering from will not end well if not treated properly. This whole process of interview and physical exam took approximately an hour and I couldn't have been more grateful for the whole experience. The fact that this gentleman is suffering from several diseases and is still so happy, friendly and so willing to help students improve their medical knowledge makes my heart so warm.

This made me think about how fortunate we are back at home to have a significant amount of patient education and support groups to help patients as they go through any diseases they may be suffering from. As well as being so incredibly grateful to be able to go on this amazing, yet sometimes frustrating, journey to become a doctor. When we walk into a room we are the person in charge of this persons health and they look up to us for that. It shouldn't be taken lightly but also not to the other extreme of an overwhelming amount of pressure. I always find myself on the latter, putting too much pressure on myself to know everything and getting frustrated when I don't. A good friend of mine left me with this message and I'm going to leave it here for all of you...

"You diagnose your patient with your mind and not your heart, so study with your mind and not your heart. Your mind will save your patient. Your heart will comfort them."

- Jen

You CAN do it.

Hello my friends!

I've been living in my classroom studying my life away (more so than usual). Third is turning out to be one busy semester but we're getting more into the clinical and pathological aspects of medicine so it is VERY interesting.

I haven't written a post because I've been finding it kind of difficult to find some inspiration to write. Normally I'd write about keeping the motivation high and remembering why you did this... but since I couldn't even practice that skill myself I felt like theres no way I could write about it. I'm feeling the toll school has taken on me mentally and physically. I've been so tired, with no amount of coffee or sleep helping.

I've pretty much hit a rut.

And I feel like everyone around me has felt like they've gotten into a rut too. Every time I see something like this happening around me I try and think about what good will come from this.

Over the past three weeks I have had multiple conversations with multiple people about how stressed they are and how they don't feel motivated.

I noticed a trend - when people were consoling me about if I could get through it they were so positive and motivational. They had all the confidence that I could pull this off. But when the conversation turned and we were talking about them, their mood changed and the positivity and confidence faded. Which pulls me back to a conversation I had with a good friend about confidence. She told me a quote and I will never forget it...

"You need to learn to be your own best friend"

And I thought, how powerful is that? It should be so easy - yet it is one of the hardest things to do.

I'm guilty of it - friends and family continuously tell me, "Jennifer you're more than capable of this" but I'm my own toughest critic and things that make my parents more proud than they already are just make me shrug my shoulders. 

So I challenge you, and I will continue to challenge myself to try to become my own best friend.

- Jen

Getting ready for 3X

Hello my friends!!

I sit here the day after the heavily spoken about and internationally known boiling lake hike and let me tell you... muscles I didn't know could hurt are hurting.

As some of you may have seen on the news we're getting hit by a tropical depression Gaston. Winds are strong and there is a significant amount of rain falling. The weather wasn't as bad yesterday therefore we continued on with our hike.

The base of the hike is about 6.5 miles east of Rosseau (the capital of Dominica) so approximately 1.5 hour drive. The first part of the hike is through a heavily wooded area, with little steps for you to walk on guiding you to a small river where we had our first break. We sat there to cool off, hydrate and eat some food.

Next we hiked 1 km (1000 m) up. That was probably the most tiring part of this whole hike. It allowed me to do a lot of thinking (on my many breaks) - hiking is a lot like schooling - its beautiful when you take a step back and look around but when you focus in on yourself and lose sight of the beauty of the journey it turns into something a little more painstaking.

So, we finally made it to the top of this brutal summit. Our guide told us to start going back if we felt too tired but myself and two of my friends said we were going to make it to the lake.

Then our tour guide continued on...

The three of us caught our breath and continued down the other side of this summit. It didn't start off too bad, still more steps down - a little more difficult on this downward side. We then reached a point where there were no more steps and just a mountainous wall. The three of us saw our lives flash before our eyes countless times as we tried to figure out how to get down this mountain.

Once we finally made it down into the sulphur spring areas we took another break, and tried to bring down our adrenaline and calm our shaken nerves. We saw another guide leading a small group into a valley so we figured we should follow them. Once we actually made it to the valley we couldn't see where they could have gone but we followed the stream flowing down into boiling lake. Again, this started off not too bad but as we travelled deeper and deeper into this valley it was much more difficult. There were no places to put your feet, no rocks to hold on to, nothing. And I started to panic.

For the first time in a very long time I thought I made a completely wrong decision. We didn't know where we were, we had no one behind us telling us where to go and we had no idea if we were even heading in the right direction. We were yelling, trying to see if anyone could hear us... we felt so alone and lost. My one friend said she was going forward to see if she saw anyone and my other friend and I waited until we decided to try to head back from where we came from.

My legs were shaking, arms so sore, I was literally COVERED in sweat. Looking back and seeing where we struggled through was oddly beautiful. I could honestly say we got through all of that by ourselves and as much as I wanted to cry I turned back and tried to be as logical as possible to get back to an area where we knew where we were going.

That was probably one of the most mentally and physically challenging days I've had in my life. But do I regret it for a second? No.

I was scared for my life, I was tired, I felt weak and I felt so alone but I got through it (with the help of some friends). Although that may sound like a pretty scary way to start third semester I think it is beautiful. There are going to be ups and downs in your life and there are going to be times when you feel like you're lost and alone and you're so very close to giving up hope. But if you push through and persevere you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to.

Now even though my body is the most sore it's ever been I feel 100% ready to tackle M2!

- Jen

M2 here we go!

Hello my friends!

I am writing this post from an amazing villa in St. Maarten - on my first day where I can actually take a breath and relax (minus my 3:30 am wake up for my 8 am flight). I'm here with my mom and my good friend Jackie. It's been a long four months not seeing my mom so there were some tears when I saw her. She also surprised me with birthday cards from friends and family back home so that had sleep deprived me back into a sobbing mess.

I wrote my final on Tuesday and that was probably one of the hardest tests I've written on the island so far. Within one week we had our fourth mini, a practical exam and our final. That week was honestly the hardest I've worked in my student career thus far. I knew going into this semester that physiology was not my strongest subject and I needed to work a little harder to get the material... and even harder once the semester was coming to an end because I could feel myself getting burnt out. That week leading up to the final were some of the longest, most frustrating days I've experienced as a student.

While I'm going through this I would check my Timehop app (it's my morning routine) and I realized I began MERP a year ago. Reflecting back on how stressed I was I realized how far I've come both academically and mentally over the past year.

Two days later...

Alright I've been slacking on this post but I WILL FINISH IT NOW

Our MPeL and MPS was released today so I can officially announce that I am a M2 student!!!

*cue the largest sigh of relief*

Starting September I will be a 3X student and I will be the Prime Minister of the Canadian Club on campus - I'm doing a little happy dance right now.

As I mentioned earlier I've pushed myself harder than I've ever pushed myself in my life. And it's been paying off - I tell myself every evening "want it more than you're scared of it". Some days are rough, and it's so incredibly difficult to motivate myself - but I look around and I am inspired by every single one of my friends. They all work so hard and will always put a smile on my face.

See you all on the flip side starting 3X!

Jen

Just Keep Building

Hello Friends!

Quick turn around for another post from me but I’ve got some inspiration for some more writing/procrastinating.

I got some pretty exciting news yesterday and I’ll officially post it on this blog - but I’ve been asked to be the Prime Minister (President) for the Canadian Students Society! Words can’t even describe how excited and happy I am to be able to take a leadership role in this club and work along side some of my amazing friends.

I'd just like to take a moment and reflect as to why I'm so grateful not only for the Canadian Students Society but for being in medical school and living out my dream of becoming a Doctor.

In high school I was a very active student member. Coming from a smaller all girls high school it was very easy to get involved in the school community. I did plays, ran the robotics team, was selected to be a prefect, was on the May Court, helped out with school events... You get the drift.

For various reasons everything changed in my undergrad. I wasn't involved in any clubs let alone never dreamt about taking a leadership role in any aspect of my time there. Just to clarify, it had nothing to do with the school itself. The Applied Health Sciences Faculty was amazing - the smallest faculty on campus - we had a very home like feel to all of our events and throughout all of our buildings.

My confidence was stripped. I isolated myself. I didn't think I could be a part of a team and I didn't want to be. I didn't think I could be a leader, not in a group project let alone in a club.

For various reasons, I wasn’t the same active student body member that I was before. My friends who knew me from high school noticed the shift and honestly there was nothing anyone could really do to bring my confidence back up to where it was before. It was hard, going from being someone who was so actively involved to someone who went to classes and labs and that was it. No extra curriculars, no clubs, no teams - nothing. Until I found a volunteering position working with cancer patients that made me want to get more involved. Mind you at this point joining anything was a big deal for me. And I will be forever thankful to all of my patients at Well Fit, as much as you say I helped you, you helped to shape me into the future doctor I am today.

I was thinking about my 18/19 year old self and how she would react if I told her that she would be in medical school, and she would be loving it. She would gain her confidence to take on leadership roles again and most importantly she would be genuinely happy.

The thought brought me to tears.

I asked a lot of friends whether I should post this more personal blog and I got a resounding yes. Then I realized how happy an 18/19 year old Jen would be if she read something like this when she wasn't feeling her best.

For anyone who may be thinking about applying to medical school but is doubting themselves or doesn’t believe that they can do it - if you want it badly enough you will do it. And you will succeed. Once you start doing what you love the confidence and the happiness just falls into place.

- Jen

Finding Dory in Dominica

Hello friends!

Just writing to you after my first weekend off since coming to the island! We just finished our Neurology block - we had our practical exam on Wednesday and our Mini on Friday. I think I can speak for my whole class in saying that we've been waiting for this weekend since first semester. Even though we had no classes this week it was a tough week. I find neuro very interesting but there was so much information to try and cram into our heads. After this semester I'm 100% certain we deserved this weekend off (even though it went by in the blink of an eye).

Second semester has been tough I'm not going to lie. I'm not very strong in Physiology and this is a very Physiology dense semester. I've been working my butt of to try and grasp this information as much as I possibly can (along with trying to figure out how to get more hours in my day - if anyone has an answer please let me know).

This weekend was so relaxing - but we also had a lot of fun! On Friday night we went to a Paediatrics Student Auction where my friends and I were auctioned off for 2400 EC - approximately 860 USD. We were so excited that we were able to raise that much money for a child on the island to have a heart surgery.

On Saturday we spent the afternoon Snorkelling in Cabrits National Park. It was a nice boat ride - three hours and two different reefs. The water was so blue, clear and stunning - one thing that I love so much about the island. I'd never been snorkelling before so I was so excited to finally go and cross that off my bucket list.

Today I had a nice sleep in and a brunch at my favourite breakfast place called Aunty Graces. A group of us then went to a lazy river past the airport and just enjoyed nature - admiring our Jurassic Park Island.

I still sit here in total awe of where I am studying medicine. Not only am I living out my dream of becoming a doctor but I also get to do it on a stunning island. As I've mentioned before it can be frustrating because it's not like home and we don't have the same things readily available but the island itself is so beautiful. It's very easy to get caught up in the little bubble surrounding campus and you don't even realize it but it wears you out. It's always go-go-go around here and you don't ever get much time to just relax and not do anything.

I know I surely needed this weekend to pull everything back together and regain some mental sanity. These next four weeks are going to be long and difficult but I need to keep pushing through. I always tell you guys I keep it totally honest here and I'm going to keep it that way. I'm mentally exhausted and I'm nervous for the next two blocks we have, Endocrine and Reproductive Systems. I haven't had too much exposure to either so it's going to be a larger learning curve for me. All we can really do is keep moving forward and stay positive.

Jen

Snorkelling

The Upper Deck

Food my parents sent

Sunsets

Study Day

Snorkelling

Snorkelling

Snorkelling

Snorkelling

Tubing