I haven't posted in a while but with COVID happening and trying to prepare for moving and residency. I honestly wasn't too sure what I was going to do with this blog once I finished medical school.
Maybe I'll blog about starting residency in the middle of a pandemic?
So here I go! Let me just back track. I finished my last elective at the end of February a mere 2 weeks before COVID shut down the country. I was supposed to go on a cruise to Hawaii with my mom and grandma which obviously was cancelled. I had plans to catch up and see friends I haven't been able to see since starting medical school which didn't happen. I was at home waiting for COVID to pass. I was heartbroken but also guilty?
I knew there were people who had it worse than I did and were going through tougher times than I was but I couldn't help but feel upset. To give you context, the time between finishing medical school and starting residency med students generally travel since we have no obligations for a few months before starting residency. For most of us it is the longest time we have off between college and medical school and residency is a marathon 3-5 years with limited vacation.
Being a Canadian moving to the South I was planning on renting a Uhaul and driving down with my dad but because of the border crossing being closed to everyone except essential workers I would have to do the drive alone... which I couldn't do. Plans changed again... I'd be getting a shipping container and sending large items in there and I would fly down with three suitcases in tow. Moving to a brand new state not knowing ANYONE was quite the experience. I had to build all my furniture alone, figure out my SSN (which was an adventure and a long story), rent a car, learn the area all by myself.
All while still feeling guilty.
Fast forward to orientation, my program had us present on campus but all separated by discipline so I was able to meet my co-interns and spend time with them but other programs had their orientation virtually. It made it hard to actually get to know your co-interns.
There were no resident bonding get togethers, hanging out and meeting the senior residents, it was just orientation and then starting to work in the hospital. We can't afford to get COVID and have to call out sick.
I think isolating is the best word to describe how starting has felt. I have met some of my senior residents in clinic which has been wonderful since everyone is so friendly and helpful. But building those relationships outside of the hospital and bonding in a more relaxed setting is what's missing and it's heart breaking.
This is how I've felt these past few months and I've just now been able to put it into words. I'm not sure if any other interns have had these same thoughts or feelings but if you have please share and know that you're not alone in those feelings.
- Jen
good luck. hope everything works out for you. congrats on your residency.
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